lumpesse

You should probably look at lumpesse.com instead - I've been there for awhile.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

100 Things

It seems like everyone has one of these except me!

1. I am a woman.
2. Who rarely wears makeup.
3. But has more than a passing interest in buying shoes.
4. Although, handbags have never done much for me.
5. I am a music snob.
6. This is due to 5 years in radio.
7. But I know my boyfriend thinks he knows more about music than I do.
8. He probably does.
9. I lost my virginity just over 3 years ago.
10. I am 23 now.
11. You do the math - subtraction is addition's tricky friend.
12. We planned it in a very responsible manner.
13. Before losing my virginity I had kissed 2 girls.
14. And 2 boys.
15. One of those boys probably doesn't count because it was during Spin the Bottle when I was 13.
16. It turns out that I am very orgasmic.
17. I feel really bad for my friends that can't get off during sex.
18. Sometimes I wonder if they aren't trying hard enough.
19. Or perhaps their boyfriends are just lousy in bed.
20. If you haven't caught on yet, my boyfriend is excellent in bed.
21. I am Jewish.
22. That doesn't have much bearing on my life, but I think it turns my boyfriend on.
23. And it means I call my grandmother "Bubbe". She still hopes I'll find a nice Jewish boy.
24. Okay, I officially feel creepy talking about my family on a sex blog.
25. I have a major thing for British accents.
26. They are an instant turn on. This is dreadfully cliche.
27. But it means that if you are British there is a strong chance I want to have phone sex with you.
28. I also have a thing for the neurotic type. This seems to cross over with the British thing. As well as the Woody Allen thing.
29. I wrote a really bad poem about a neurotic guy when I was 17.
30. I still haven't stopped trying to hook up with that same guy.
31. I know fully well that it would be terrible sex, too.
32. I come up with ideas for projects much faster than I can produce them.
33. I never owned any proper lingerie before a few years ago.
34. Now I have an extensive underwear collection.
35. My boyfriend calls them funderwear.
36. I think I have a nice ass.
37. Folks seem to agree, especially the bums downtown.
38. I really enjoy having my butt rubbed, it is soothing and relaxing.
39. I have two cats. They have pretentious names based on literature.
40. I am pretentious.
41. This means that I can't get turned on by stupid people.
42. Or people that use netspeak.
43. Things I am pretentious about include music, coffee, martinis, and film.
44. Things I am not pretentious about include wine and books.
45. Although I still bristle at the idea of best sellers, I end up reading chick lit when I am bored.
46. It is the literary equivilent of pop rocks.
47. Lately, I've been reading anything that Nerve.com recommends. I find it is a good way to read something sort of pervy without resorting to romance novels.
48. A cheap romance novel was probably the first thing I ever masturbated to.
49. I wonder if it would still work?
50. I go to graduate school.
51. It doesn't seem to be as hard as everyone says it is. I'm probably just not working hard enough.
52. I like being tied up.
53. And being told what to do.
54. I guess that makes me a submissive.
55. I wish I had a larger bed.
56. Dirty talk gets me really hot. I don't get enough of it.
57. You wouldn't know any of this by looking at me.
58. Apparently, my default facial expression isn't very kind or welcoming.
59. I have pedestrian rage, so when I walk down the street I tend to scowl.
60. I do have a lovely smile, though. I've been complimented on my dimples.
61. I almost had a threesome once but I chickened out.
62. I really want to try again sometime with the right people.
63. I shock my friends and even casual acquaintances by extolling the virtues of anal sex.
64. I really am that passionate about it!
65. In my opinion, it helps to have a partner that is willing to receive as well as give.
66. Also, lots of lube! Put some on, when you have enough, add more!
67. I think I would make a good advice columnist.
68. I have been reading Savage Love since I was 15.
69. I just got contacts recently.
70. And now everyone is noticing that I have pretty eyes. It is a nice ego boost.
71. I mentioned to a few friends that I am tracking when men check out my chest. Now my friends are pointing it out to me as well.
72. For being so interested in music, I don't listen to it often enough while having sex.
73. Although, I did trick my boyfriend into making out to Boyz II Men once. He wasn't pleased.
74. By way of revenge, he gave me head while Bauhaus was playing.
75. I pretended to be mad but I enjoyed the head way too much to care.
76. I am very perceptive of smell.
77. So, I often use different shower gels to remind me of people and experiences.
78. Speaking of, showering together is over-rated. It seems like someone is always standing outsite of the water getting cold.
79. But, I have had my share of good experiences with it. They mostly involve blowjobs.
80. I once met a guy that said he would give up sex forever if he could be guaranteed to have someone to spoon with.
81. I kind of understand what he means - but I don't think I could give up sex.
82. I have attempted to buy sexual favors with Monopoly money.
83. It almost worked.
84. But, no dice. I still haven't gotten to watch two men together.
85. This is a pretty big fantasy of mine. Unfortunately, gay men, by definition, aren't interested in helping me get off. Even if it is just watching.
86. I have also never given oral sex to another woman.
87. I think that lesbians are leary of me because I seem like a silly bi-curious girl.
88. I guess I am. Nonetheless, they shouldn't be so picky about free oral sex.
89. I don't understand cyber sex.
90. Don't try to explain it, you won't change my mind.
91. I have a lot of trouble finding good porn. I guess I need to actually pay for it.
92. I once shaved my pussy completely.
93. It got very angry with me. So now I just keep things trimmed and shave the most pertinent parts.
94. Although I will admit that I get lazy about it since I am in a long distance relationship.
95. I rarely drink but when I do I get too randy for my own good.
96. I own several sex toys.
97. I have one small tatoo. I don't regret it but it also doesn't mean much to me anymore.
98. I voted for Kerry.
99. I read about 20 sex blogs every day. And develop crushes on the writers.
100. I secretly wish that some of them had crushes on me.

7 Comments:

Anonymous unfurling said...

re # 80

I would do the same, as long as I was still allowed to mastubate once in a while.

8:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

re#70

What color are your eyes?

-Steve

3:56 PM  
Anonymous drennach@yahoo.com said...

i just started in to this erotic podcasting thing. makes my commute so much more interesting.

the excerpt of you on podnography #10 was, well, captivating. i owe you one big time.

re: #85: would you get off on a straight guy getting it up the rear for the 1st time? i'd prefer a woman with a strap-on, but for you i'd do the real thing (wrapped in plastic, of course) if i thought i could have a hand (sic!) in your pleasure. i think i could be very convincing, knowing you were there, knowing you were taking yourself where you wanted to go.

please say yes

xoxoxo

11:42 PM  
Anonymous vagueBoy said...

RE: 100 : starting to :)

6:45 PM  
Blogger michael said...

on your lumpesse: 100 things #78. Speaking of, showering together is over-rated. It seems like someone is always standing outsite of the water getting cold.- My shower has 3 heads on it 2 can be turned on & off depending on if its me alone or with someone else & #92. I once shaved my pussy completely.93. It got very angry with me. So now I just keep things trimmed and shave the most pertinent parts. - try putting a bit of deodorant on it ive had 2 girlfrends that did it & i guess it worked ------ Im not usely much of one for blogs but yours was kinda cool thanks for the good reading & the pics

11:29 AM  
Blogger Brandi said...

Where have I been all your blog? I am aroused and amazed and somehow a better person because you write this blog! Thanks.

5:31 PM  
Blogger Ron in Florida (Ronald10021) said...

Some of them (your readers/followers) do have crushes on you....

2:26 PM  

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