You should probably look at instead - I've been there for awhile.

Monday, April 11, 2005

"Honey I'm a prize and you're a catch and we're a perfect match"

I am in a pissy mood and feeling very undesirable right now. But, this is not a journal for whining in. So, I am just going to post everything I can think of in the hopes that all of you anarcho-sexy-intelligentsia will say hot things to me.

First: The Audi-0h!
I have discovered the closest that I will ever get to fucking Stephen Malkmus, Morissey, or David Gedge. This vibrator actually translates audio into specific vibrations. Basically, I have decided that I am ignoring all of your answers to my vibrator poll and getting this instead. It is pricey but I will buy it as soon as I get a chance. The best part of the website is the customer comments:
"My wife doesn't complain about my band practicing in the house any more! You guys rock!"

Second: I Like Being Submissive
It is decided, I think it is really hot. The little role-plays I have been doing with a friend have gotten me so hot. Especially when he makes gruff demands of me and makes me pinch my nipples until I can't stand the pain. Wow. Last time we played he had me take these pictures. They are blurry and not that interesting but the point is that there were no re-takes. I grabbed the camera and obeyed his commands and he got the pictures that I took. Just remembering it gets me wet. Some of these qualify to me as graphic but he seemed to enjoy them so I am posting them for you. You can have a sliver of the experience.

*** There were more in the original post.

Third: Fucking to indie rock
I found the first two volumes of Red Hot and Bothered: The Indie Rock Guide to Dating comps on vinyl at my local mom and pop record store this weekend. Other than making me all old school and nostalgic in my music choices this week (see now playing), they got me thinking about sex and music. They came with zines that are pretty funny, one had an article titled "Everybody Wants to Shag to Yo La Tengo" and included a bunch of musicians and critics commenting on if it is possible to fuck to indie rock and if so to what songs. The whole article is hysterical (I'll scan it if anyone shows interest) but some of the best tidbits to me were:
Randy Bookasta: I haven't ever fucked to indie rock. The Cocteau Twins. Exclusively.
Brian Long: Oh yeah, especially old indie rock like Opal. Beat Happening, too. Calvins turn women on.
an aside from the author: Guided by Voices suggests a number of interesting tangential quandaries: Can tantric boinkers so it to the entire 5CD box set (6 for you vinyl-heads)? Does Alien Lanes pose a problem for premature ejaculators? Or do all those teensy-weensy songs result in 28 consecutive orgasms? Where does Kim Deal fit in all of this?

I already know that brushland wants to get head (I think from me!) to Slowdive's Souvlaki. As for me, I love morning sex listening to The Velvet Underground and Nico and (much to my chagrin) I've had my pussy licked expertly with Bauhaus playing in the background. Anyone else want to weigh in on the best music for particular sexual acts? Also, how do you folks feel about me posting sexy songs in here from time to time? I didn't get much of a response to (smog) but that was about 150 friends ago.


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