a one and a two and a. . .

Sex and produce, the missing link

Nerve has an hysterical article today. Sex advice from organic farmers. How they came up with this idea isn't entirely elucidated but whoever did should get a raise. I like laughing with my smut. It includes such gems as this heart-warming piece of advice:

Where's the best place on the farm for a roll in the hay?
The big long grass in the back. Just not the hay. Hay is itchy and gets in the wrong places.

I am so glad that I have my paid subscription back. While you get to go to the site and read about organic farmers, I get to see tons of hot naked people. I'll find a way to share the wealth one of these days. But, word to the wise - you can subvert the need for a subscription when reading the back issues by entering via archive.org. Just use the WayBack Machine to view the cached versions of the website. That is your sneaky, horny research tip of the day. I remember using this trick to read the Stephen Malkmus bedroom interview, I then parlayed the experience into multiple orgasms.

New Play Things

I have decided to buy myself a new toy at the end of my detox. It is going to be elaborate, sparkly and, like Stephen Malkmus, cause multiple orgasms. The problem is, that I can't pin down what to buy! This is where you come in. There are approximately 70 people that have friended me. If I get 30 comment responses to my informal poll I promise to take pictures with the new toy that I choose. I repeat! Me. Pussy. Vibrator. Camera. Internet. Lend me a hand!

Here are the candidates:

Cosmic Vibe
Rabbit Habit
Mermaid
Honey

Vote early, vote often. Bonus points to anyone that gives me an evocative one liner to justify their choice. By evocative, I mean, really fucking dirty ;)

In closing, I would like to openly address my boyfriend in front of these assembled witnesses:
Baby, I don't know when I will see you next. But, rest assured that I have every intention to fuck your brains out as soon as possible. You are also going to get the blowjob of your life because I have been craving cock on my lips. You. Me. Fuck until morning. Soon please?

some thoughts

I have been considering the idea of finding a woman to spend some quality time with. I have pretty limited experience with girls but thinking back on it, those experiences were pretty hot. I have never eaten pussy before and I really want the opportunity, it seems like it would be amazing. All of you guys out there like it so much, I have started to believe the hype. I've taken the first few steps to finding a girl in my area to fool around with. I think I am more interested in a bisexual girl than a lesbian but it doesn't really matter as long as the person can deal with just being friends with benefits. I am leaning towards wanting a bi girl because I would like someone that might be interested in joining my boyfriend and I eventually. On a fundamental level, though, I need some play. Badly.

Last night I pulled out the trusty vibrator (as I have every night for at least a week) and had a grand time. I had taken a very hot bath before bed and then used lotion on my entire body. After paying particular attention to my breasts and nipples, I had to take care of myself. So, I slid between the sheets, turned out the lights and started running my fingertips all over my pussy. My lover has this technique where he barely touches me so that I am begging him for more. I did my best to approximate that for several minutes, using just the lightest touch and not dipping my fingers between my lips. Then, I slipped one finger slowly in, I have to admit I let out a little gasp. Feeling my own wetness always turns me on. I slid the finger up and down my slit for a few minutes, occasionally resting it on my clit. Then I slid two fingers into my pussy pressing my thumb against my clit. I slowly pumped them in and out and my hips involuntarily arched up against to meet my hand. At this point I grabbed my vibrator because I had to get more stimulation. I turned it on and slowly ran it up and down my slit, occasionally dipping it into my pussy a few inches. I ran it down to rest against my anus while I fingered my clit with the other hand. When I couldn't take it anymore I worked it inside me. I fucked my pussy with the vibe until I was moaning. I was writhing all over the bed and so close to coming. I squeezed my legs together holding the vibe in place. This allowed me to put both hands on my body while keeping the vibrator in my cunt. I began squeezing my breasts with my left hand, kneeding them and pinching the nipples hard. I worked my clit with my right hand, strumming it with my fingers and pressing my palm against my pubic bone. I finally came with a shudder, letting out a sigh. I switched off the vibe and slipped it out and immediately fell into a deep sleep with my juices still running down my thighs.

Phew, writing that got me ready for repeat performance. Maybe I'll hold off until bed again to make it better.

Two Celebrities That I Would Fuck

I am not the sort of girl that gets major celebrity fixation. They usually piss me off. I also don't tend to like really attractive people, I'd prefer the quirkier looking types. These are the two celebrities that I can see myself having dirty dreams about - or that I already have.

First, Woody Allen!

I don't care that he is really old now, I would still fuck him in a New York minute. This man exudes charm by being neurotic. I love how all of his films are pervy and weird. We know he likes the younger ladies so I think I have a fair shot.

Second, John Stewart!

Smart, incredibly funny, and really hot. This man can get in my pants any time he wants. It doesn't hurt that he hates Bush as much as I do.

So, what do these two fine specimens have in common? They are both funny and intelligent Jews. I tend to think that funny Jews = SEXY! Now, if we extend this analysis we realize that yours truly is funny, intelligent, and Jewish. Therefore, by a hypothetical syllogism we conclude that I am sexy.
QED

Isn't logic hot?

In other news, I was feeling mischevious this morning so I wore a short skirt to campus. I was quickly put in my place by the weather which decided to be cold and windy. Instead of listening to my mp3 player and feelin' fine I spent the walk struggling with my skirt to prevent every man, woman, and child that saw me from being flashed. This is only sexy when certain famous blondes are doing it :(

Finally, if you all aren't aware of Nerve Magazine, get aware fast. Well, unless you are at work in which case wait because it is too hot for work! I used to be a subscriber and I think I'm going to have to re-instate that. I have had a lot of very nice times looking at that mag. Here is a good free story that was just posted today:

Hightower looked back to the table and saw Stella craning her long neck so the lean cords stood out against her skin. Antoinette asked Hightower what he wanted.
"I want to fuck your friend," he whispered in her double-pierced ear.

Top 3 Sexy Things of the Day

Number 1: Photos by Katherine O'Halloran
Clean Sheets is a great magazine of erotica, I thought that this picture was particularly hot. It is about seduction via photographs. It ends with a really hot light bondage scene. It gave me some ideas to use on my boyfriend the next time I see him.

"Walking back from his boss's office, he sees a new Polaroid sitting on his keyboard. He runs to grab it. It is warm and undeveloped, but she's gone. A faint scent, sweet and citrusy, lingers around his desk.

He waves the photo, wanting to speed up the developing image, not wanting to damage the photo. Slowly the shape of a head appears, details fill in until her entire face appears. Of course. The one person in the office he hasn't considered.

He pops his head into his boss's office. "Just popping up to the mailroom. Got a couple of things to sort out with them, might take a while."

Number 2: Smog "To Be of Use" off of Red Apple Falls
This song is incredibly sexy. Listen carefully to the lyrics. . .

Smog - To Be of Use (Oops, you missed it!)

Number 3: My Legs
They are even turning me on!

Why Men Prefer Tease Over Sleaze

I just happened across this article while I was doing some research. It really got me thinking. Its true that there are a million and one places to get hardcore porn for free on the internet. Why are people interested in amateurs, then? Certainly us amateurs don't have the bodies of porn stars. All we can really hope for is to provide something that people are missing from hardcore porn. If you ask me that missing something is personanlity, quirkiness, and style.

The other day someone IMed me and told me that he thought my pictures were classy, that there was something more artistic to them. This is the best compliment I have received so far. Now, I'll admit that most of the artfulness came as a side effect of low lighting and an unsteady camera. But, at the same time I took about 150 pictures the other night and posted 15. I think that weeding process was important.

The moral of the story is, I have lots of traditionally "hardcore" subjects in mind for the journal. But I won't be posting anything that feels too clinical or overdone. If it doesn't turn me on, I will assume it doesn't turn you on. . .

Spring is in the air

. . . and that means that I cannot get my hormones under control. While my libido is never truly diminished, this time of year it is basically out of control. Unfortunately, the boyfriend and I are both busy and are having problems finding time to get together. I haven't seen him in a few weeks and subsequently feel quite sex deprived. But, my loss is your gain! I find that thinking out my fantasies and sharing them helps a bit. Who doesn't get turned on by a little exhibitionism?

Last night, I expressed my supreme horniness to the boyfriend and since he was not in the mood, he placated me with a lovely picture of his penis. Now, this picture was shot on a webcam in the creepy blue glow of his monitor. As pictures of cocks go, it wouldn't normally be anything to write home about. But, for me, this was not just any cock. This is the cock I have been longing for since I last saw him. It is sweet and beautiful and so poweful. Seeing that picture really set me off as I thought of the good times I have had through the years with this particular penis. This penis that looks so harmless in the photograph has brought so much joy and excitement. When it is hard I find it to be the most fantastically sexy thing - there have been many times when I have felt it pressing against me in an intimate moment and I need to stop and catch my breath because feeling the hardness is so overwhelming. I love when this penis is in my mouth, it feels smooth and delicious on my tongue. I enjoy feeling every small detail of its texture as I run my tongue over it. I live for the moans and sighs that come from its owner. This penis has been used to gently and tenderly make love to me, during these times it is slow and methodical, each stroke accompanied by kisses and caresses and words of love. This penis has also been used to fuck me to beyond the edge or reason. It has made me lose track of language and the outside world and everything that exists outside of the sensation of this penis pounding into my pussy.

These are all of the things that crossed my mind last night as I gazed with amazement at this poorly taken picture of a half-erect penis in the glow of a computer monitor. Keeping this image in my head, I got into bed, turned out the lights and lowered my trusty purple vibrator to rest on my wet clit. I could have come in a minute but I knew that I should make it last. Every time I neared climax, I pulled back and took a deep breath to extend the moment longer. I sighed as if my lover was present and licked my lips wishing I had his lips to kiss, or perhaps his lovely penis to run my mouth over.

I allowed myself to come in a moment of calmness and relaxation. With a sharp intake of breath and a slight shudder, I felt the orgasm slowly run through my whole body as all of my limbs relaxed and sank into the bed. I set the vibrator down by my side and fell fast asleep just as I lay, with the image of his pretty penis still in my mind.

Introduction

I am a 23 year old female in a commited relationship with a wonderful boyfriend. I have been with him for 2 and a half years and we have had some amazing sex. He has taught me everything I know at this point and I am becoming increasingly adventurous. I decided to start a sex journal because we are in a distance relationship and I though letting others in on some of the juicy details might spice things up. We have taken pictures in the past and plan to continue. In this journal you will find pictures, random tidbits, sexy stories, etc.

Also, I happen to be bisexual and am interested in finding women to talk to online. I am more interested in making friends first but, if things lead in a certain direction. . .well, you just can't fight some things! Please feel free to comment here and we can chat.

For the time being I am keeping this journal public, you will notice that I do not show my face in photographs. This is due to the nature of my career and I will probably not change this plan anytime soon.