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Tuesday, September 27, 2005

'cause I keep putting on lip gloss and you won't kiss me

My boyfriend recently told me that I am allowed to make out with whoever I want. I took this news with a great deal of excitement and an eye towards the future. I would parlay my newly found sexual confidence into a very sophisticated and urban form of make-out sluttery. I would lock lips with anyone that I thought was attractive and enjoy the sheer simplicity of just kissing. This would all expand my horizons greatly and take me on my path to becoming an ethical slut.

My boyfriend said this to me almost two months ago.

I haven't kissed anyone.

Now, this isn't for a lack of desire. I have had my smooch radar honed on several desirable kissees. I'm doing all the right things, too. Like spending time in the presence of the people I want to kiss and brushing my teeth. Somehow this doesn't seem to be enough. I think I am missing a piece of the puzzle.

In reality, I know exactly what the problem is. Everyone I know, knows I have a boyfriend. And everyone I know is basically anyone worth kissing in this ridiculously small city. I really can't wait for someone else to kiss me, it isn't going to happen. Unfortunately, I have a ridiculously high fear of rejection.

So, fair reader, how do you get up the nerve to lock lips? Please don't say alcohol. . .


Blogger Avatar said...

I would be careful with this permission, if I were you.

Now, I know neither of you, so take this with a huge grain of salt: oftentimes, when people in committed relationships "give permission" to their significant other-- without warning or prior discussion-- it's a means to either a) vindicate him/herself from having committed the same act, or b) use their significant other's acting on said permission as a future validation to halt the relationship.

Food for thought.

1:08 AM  
Blogger lumpesse said...

I appreciate the advice but am quite sure that neither of those are the case. The permission was given in the context of us opening up our relationship to other sexual partners and has been discussed in detail. I agree that if he had just said, "Hey baby, kiss who you want" out of the blue one day, it would be cause for concern.

1:11 AM  
Anonymous Ms. Kitka said...

I went to a strip club last week and got kissed three times by one of the strippers. I didn't WANT to be kissed by someone I didn't know because I'm afraid of getting herpes, but she did it all the same!

You can kiss me if you want... I'm sure my boyfriend would be cool with it (as long as we take pictures!). Only problem is: I have NO IDEA where you live... I bet you're far away.


11:07 PM  
Blogger lumpesse said...

I'm totally far away! The Southern US. When I make it up to your neck of the woods I'll totally take you up on that.

11:15 PM  

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