lumpesse

"So, are you going to blog about this?"

2005-10-17T20:39:00.000-05:00

It hadn't occurred to me when I started my series on phone sex partners that any new ones I took that also read this blog would be expecting that I write about them. It is of course a logical expectation but has me incredibly on edge. This is nothing like being sent a CD in the mail - I have no problem slagging a band. But, what about bad phone sex? How do I account for that gracefully? My solution right now is only to write about someone that I've done it with more than once. That creates an immediate stop-gap for the bad ones (which are obviously not repeats.)

This is what I told S today while I was still catching my breath. The absurdity of the question weighed on me as I was basking in the glow of my orgasms. Interestingly, by writing this, I am breaking my own rule. However, I expect to speak to S again. Although it is probably unwise to document the events while my pussy is still wet from the sound of his voice, objectivity isn't a necessary component of smut.

I've known S for a few months and up until recently he always treated me like a kid sister. Albeit a kid sister that he gives candid sex advice to. Still, there was never much of a spark between us although we were good buddies. Then recently the dynamic shifted - I had been harboring a bit of a crush on him all along but I'm not sure just what clicked in his head. We flirted for a few weeks and things finally came to a head today.

I've never been so nervous about phone sex before. Perhaps it was because I pursued him more than he pursued me - I didn't get that worshipful vibe that I get from most of my partners. But, there was something delicious and exciting about trying to please and seduce him. Then it happened, he told me to touch my pussy and describe how I felt. Once the ball is rolling there is no turning back. I savored the change in his breathing when I told him that I was incredibly wet.

S used the word "cunt" in a remarkable way. It slid from his mouth softly but with undeniable precision. I usually don't care for the word very much, nor the word "slut", but he wielded both with grace. I've come to realize that I can be ordered around gruffly with words that I approve of or tenderly with words that I usually hate. The tenderness that S caressed his words with made them delicious.

My favorite moment in any phone encounter is when the man loses his composure despite how hard he is trying to maintain it. S was fighting to keep his voice even and smooth but I knew that as he listened to me writhing and moaning on the other end of the line it was getting more difficult for him. When he finally interrupted the fantasy he was weaving to tell me how amazing I sounded, I almost came. His voice cracking, his moment of weakness was my glory.

We came together with a fantastic amount of noise. Then I came again with him murmuring about what a sweet, dirty, pretty, slut I am.

I guess rules are meant to be broken.

(Previous posts in the series include B and E.)

Bloggasm #4 - This is a good one

2005-10-17T12:34:00.000-05:00

The best sex blog posts, by the bloggers who wrote them:

Adult Babies (radicalvixen.com)

Dominating E (lumpesse.com)

Eat, Drink and Remain Horny (corinthiancouple.blogspot.com)

How to Make a Professional (Amateur) Porn Film (sugarbank.com)

I Get Hot Looking at Snatch (seska4lovers.com)

May I? (domesticdeviance.blogspot.com)

Minutes of Board Meeting (perfectmarriage.co.uk)

Mirta Showering (pspporn.com)

Podnography #11 - Dave Naz, Fetish Flame and Janet Jackson (podnography.com)

Shut Up Bitch (talkingdirty.blogspot.com)

The Blame Game (mskitka.com)

Join the bloggasm

Slipping Into Something More Comfortable: the anatomy of my sexual growth via underwear ownership trends

2005-10-17T08:48:00.000-05:00

Last night I spent some time at the laundromat and while I had a magazine with me to read, I forgot to grab my notPod on the way out the door. For this reason, my mind was left to wander as I folded my laundry. I realized a few amusing things:
a. thongs can't be folded, there isn't enough fabric to do anything with;
b. there is no fully logical pile of garments to sort a dildo harness into, slipping it in with the bras will have to do.

However, the primary thing that I noticed is that my balance of sexy/cute panties versus boring/plain ones has decidedly shifted. When I started seeing my boyfriend, C, I owned exactly zero pairs of sexy/cute panties. Seriously. In fact, it never even occurred to me to get any - I didn't think I was sexy or cute, why should my panties be? This means that I didn't have a single pair that didn't come in a 6-pack wrapped in plastic. The most daring deviation from this standard were a few pairs in pink.

The first time we fooled around, it suddenly struck me that I was wearing ridiculous panties for the occasion. I was embarrassed and apologized to C; he assured me that he didn't care and I was dreadfully sexy. I wasn't yet in a place to believe this. However, after that first weekend together was over I asked him if he would like me to buy some sexier underthings. He insisted that it wasn't *necessary* but admit that it would be nice. Those first purchases were very tame and from JC Penny (no joke!) but he was transfixed by a particular pair of sheer backed, lacey, black briefs I chose. They are still his favorites out of my entire underwear collection. It is a comfort to think of all of the times that I have felt his hands caress my rear through that specific piece of thin material.

As I folded laundry, I kept the panties in discreet piles, dividing them between sexy and non-sexy. When I was done, the cute underwear won out by a landslide. I realized that the last time I purchased white cotton briefs was 10 months ago when I was preparing for a trip to Turkey and a new 12-pack seemed comforting and logical. The remaining pairs from that purchase seemed sad and weak compared to the tantalizing pile beside them. There were full-lace boy shorts and low cut briefs with various silly patterns (Superman, Hello Kitty, unicorns, butterflies, flowers - even a polka-dot pair that bears a striking resemblance to a Blogger template). And there were the new additions, the thongs, that I am getting increasingly comfortable with.

It seems silly to measure myself against the vibrancy and diversity of my panty drawer. Aside from being an incredibly consumer-oriented approach, can I really say that my sexual awakening is manifested through these eye-catching bits of fabric? Oddly enough, I think I can. In the past 6 months (roughly since the start of this blog) purchasing these sorts of panties has become a given, I don't really consider the boring ones anymore. Additionally, I have stopped wholly considering my boyfriend when making the purchase. There was a time when I couldn't wait for him to see new underthings when I got them - I guess I wanted his approval. Now I have come to a place where I certainly love showing them off to him but it doesn't seem necessary. I can enjoy these pretty things for myself because I am comfortable in my own skin.

The first time C licked my pussy, he had to wrestle white granny panties out of the way for access. The most recent time, he slipped his fingers under the lacy waist band of a black thong and teased my clit with his tongue through the thin panel of sheer material covering my pussy. In the 3 years that have transpired between these two instances, it is clear to me that not just the panties have changed, but also the woman inside them.

Bedroom Radio #3

2005-10-14T12:33:00.000-05:00

Bedroom Radio is a show about sex and music - and what happens when they work together. It is hosted by Ellie.

Download Bedroom Radio - Episode #3 (128k) or Subscribe!

On this week's show:

Podcast Review - Professor P's Porn Panorama

Sexy Song of the Week - The Autumns "Slow Kiss" from Le Carillon

Dancing with Myself - Beanfield "Charles". If you have ideas about songs that I should use in this segment, email the song to me at bedroomradio@gmail.com, if I use your song I'll mail you a mix CD!

Fiction - Night Air, Cut Grass, Damp Nylon, Wood Smoke, Cunt by Vinnie Tesla. Vinnie will be my guest on next week's show.

BedroomRadio.com
Lumpesse.com

Dominating E

2005-10-13T13:56:00.000-05:00

Photograph of and by the sexy and talented MENSAsexual. This is the second in my series on past and present phone sex partners. I started here and am working my way backwards from the most recent.

E found me on Alt.com, since then I've given up on that site but I consider him to be a good find. I was immediately attracted to E for two reasons; he was very polite and incredibly honest. He told me immediately that he had a girlfriend and didn't want to cheat on her but was sexually unfulfilled. I still consider myself a beginner with D/s but E was a complete novice. All he knew was that the had a deep fantasy of submitting to a woman and being used as a tool of her pleasure - something that his girlfriend would never do.

The first night that E and I met we ended up on the phone and talked literally all night. We spoke about sex but a lot of our conversation was just about books, philosophy, politics. We clicked and became fast friends. He also asked me to order him around on the phone that night. I'm certainly not an expert but I managed to please him. My favorite trick is orgasm denial and he responded to that quite nicely. I remember being in awe of his excitement. In turn he was completely in awe of me. E was the first submissive man I ever really got to know and playing with him on the phone was both frightening and empowering at once.

E and I actually ended up going on a sort of date a few days later. We met at a jazz bar down the street from my house and sat together for hours talking. Meeting E was the first time that I projected my sexually confident self into the real world. Here I was at a bar that all of my professors frequent, sitting with a man who reads this blog and desperately wants me to tie him up and do nasty things to him. It was a head rush to say the least and the chemistry between E and I was marked. By the end of the evening we were quite close together on the couch and my leg was touching his. The only thing I could focus on in that moment was the inch of our flesh that was in contact - this small thing rendered me conversationally useless.

E didn't kiss me that night. Instead we both went our separate ways and when we were safely miles apart in our own homes he confessed how much he had wanted me but couldn't cheat on his girlfriend, knowing it was the wrong thing to do. His ethics just made me want him more but I obviously respected his wishes. E and I spoke on the phone one more time after that. He loved the way I sound when I orgasm and heaped glowing praise upon me for it. He confessed how desperately tempted he was to cheat on his girlfriend and I reminded him that I only wanted to kiss him.

In the end, the temptation made him realize he had to reconcile his relationship. E spoke with his girlfriend and they happily decided to try to mend their relationship. I was happy for him of course but admittedly a bit disappointed. E was delicious to listen to and incredibly tempting not to mention the first guy that my boyfriend had declared he was willing to meet and consider me sleeping with.

I know for a fact that had I kissed E that night at the bar, he would have kissed back. Do I regret not going for it? That is a difficult question in many ways - I think I would have had immense guilt for putting him in that situation. But I would be a liar to say that I don't still wonder what his lips taste like.

Cut and Paste

2005-10-12T22:35:00.000-05:00

I spent about 7 hours today working on making a 'zine with a friend. Not a webzine, not even a real print magazine. No, an old-school, glue sticks and tiny scraps of paper 'zine. It was frustrating and tactile and incredibly awesome. I'm pretty sure that making a 'zine is the opposite of blogging. Computers were not involved in the layout at all.

The reason that I mention this is because despite the fact that I am writing about something so insanely physical, blogging is incredibly ephemeral. I wish the product were more tactile in the end. Assembling the 'zine today, it was nice to caress each page as I completed my work, to marvel at how things were coming together. Aside from hugging my laptop (I've done it before!) I don't know how to bring that materialism into blogging. Sometime I find myself writing my blog posts out by hand before typing them up, this isn't my normal method of composition but it seems right for some reason.

More auditory stimulation

2005-10-10T22:45:00.000-05:00

I started a chronicle of my past and current phone sex partners yesterday. This morning I noticed that two other bloggers were writing about phone sex and saying very smart and sexy things. So, in honor of the theme I had to comment on them.

A Polite Boy writes about his youthful forays into phone sex party lines. I didn't think that anyone could make the prospect of them sound sexy, but he takes the cake.

Somewhere inside that, I heard a buzzing, and her muffled voice say, “Please tell me that again.”

The next thing I knew, she was moaning into my ear and my wrist and stomach were coated with cum.

I bet you want to know what he said to her? Well it is fucking hot, I tell you. I'm thinking of trying to get him to say it to me. . .

The Virgin Slut also got me hot and bothered today with her post on a video made for her.

A sound escapes from his core, “Ahh!” Later, his body will smother his words and allow him to just breathe. The force of the air he exhale slaps the microphone, hard. The speakers amplify and resonate his breath for me; the sounds strike in my cunt, hard. The air he blows out is hot, wet and hard, and it comes from a part of him that is also hot, wet and hard.

This one I can particularly relate to. There is a certain quality of sounds that resonates through one's whole body. Anticipating the sounds that someone will make can be an incredibly suspenseful and sexy thing - it keeps you on the edge of fulfillment. I have found that hearing someone sharply inhale is like being teased, the exhale has to come eventually, it will be delicious, but when will it arrive? When it eventually hits, it arrives like a caress, or perhaps even something less tender.

really good phone

2005-10-09T23:55:00.000-05:00

He isn't as kinky as M.

Or as sensual and articulate as D.

I don't hate him, like I did J.

I don't crave him, like I do with A.

He isn't as in awe of me as E.

But the fact that B has made such an impression on me in a week that I compare him in my mind to every other man I have had phone sex with must mean something.

After the first time we spoke, I realized there was something different about what just happened. I also realize that "different" is a moot word because they have all been quite unique. But B weighs on my mind because he is the most recent. I find myself thinking about how he sounds at random moments in the day and becoming completely aroused.

I met B recently, he is an amateur photographer and takes lovely and sensitive nude self portraits. I see a lot of clinical looking cock shots on a day-to-day basis but his photos made me stop and hold my breath.

It is no secret that B has a beautiful body. Lithe but with strong-looking shoulders and legs. Tatoos that had clearly been carefully considered and placed. This man is an aesthete. I knew if I met him that I would feel completely inadequate - not beautiful enough at all.

But in our current dynamic, I make him dreadfully nervous. I can hear his arousal when we speak because his voice drops to a sheepish murmur. But something changes when he knows I am on the same page. He has a sincere longing in his voice that is truly sexy and he is one of the most vocal men I have ever spoken to. His moans and sighs are very clear, almost feminine. He whispers delicious words into my ears, sounding like he can barely pass them through his lips.

The best thing about B, though, is that he has made me contemplate those that came before. This is the first in a series.

Bloggasm #3 - Do It Kids!

2005-10-08T21:59:00.000-05:00

Going Daily - text
(talkingdirty.blogspot.com)

Helpful Tips for National Porn Sunday - text
(mskitka.com)

Podnography #10 - Tera Patrick, Violet Blue and Foot Fetishes - podcast
(podnography.com)

Shock the Piggy! - text
(domesticdeviance.blogspot.com)

The Death of Suicide Girls - text
(sugarbank.com)

The jury is out on thongs - photo, text
(lumpesse.com)

We're Pleased To Say... - photo, text
(cointhiancouple.blogspot.com)

Join the bloggasm

Bedroom Radio - Episode #2

2005-10-07T04:22:00.000-05:00

Included in this week's show:

Music Press Shakedown - Rolling Stone is a poor magazine
Dancin' With Myself - "Harriett" by Joe McPhee
Sexy Song of the Week - "Shave 'Em Dry" by Lucille Bogan

Download Bedroom Radio - Episode #2 (128k) or Subscribe!

Also, check out an exclusive extra edition of Dancin' With Myself at Sam Sugar's Podnography Episode #10.

Comments or questions? Email me!

So, who lost their virginity to The Doors?

2005-10-05T21:58:00.000-05:00

The LA Times reports that Doors drummer John Densmore is holding out on allowing the music of the band to be used in commercials. Apparently they have had multi-million dollar offers on the table from Apple and Cadillac and Densmore keeps serving up a veto. He says:

"People lost their virginity to this music, got high for the first time to this music," Densmore said. "I've had people say kids died in Vietnam listening to this music, other people say they know someone who didn't commit suicide because of this music…. On stage, when we played these songs, they felt mysterious and magic. That's not for rent."

Okay, whatever, I stopped believing the authenticity schtick awhile ago. But, I have to admit that it is a nice sentiment. Who wants to hear the song they lost it to in a Cadillac commercial? (Although, I guess there are worst products you could have that mental association with.)

Personally, there wasn't any music playing when I lost my virginity. That is probably a good thing, knowing me I would hate the band by now or have fetishized the song. One or the other. However, the first time I received head there was a Woody Allen film playing in the background. I had to stop the action after a minute to turn it off, I was afraid that my psyche would be permanently imprinted with neurosis. Turns out it was too late.

What was playing when you lost your virginity?

fun with search terms

2005-10-04T12:43:00.000-05:00

For the past several months, whenever I peruse the search terms that are refering people to this site, I notice several hits for "Randy Bookasta" (who was the editor of Ray Gun for awhile). Now, I recognize that this is directly in response to this post. I still think it is funny. Randy, are you Googling yourself? Or are there that many fans looking for him? If anyone reads this as a result of that search term, please let me know. I'm genuinely curious. I swear. Is Randy cute? What is he doing now? Has he seen my underwear?

The jury is out on thongs

2005-10-03T11:07:00.000-05:00

I recently succumbed to my curiousity and purchased a few thongs. I'd never worn one before and didn't think I wanted to. Then I saw some on sale and they were the type with the thick band of lace all around. I thought they were sort of pretty and the price was right for an experiment. I started out by trying them on. I don't really care for how they look in front, I prefer a bit more coverage. However, I can't complain about the effect they have on my rear. I was pretty pleased.

Now, plenty of lingerie might make my ass look good. However the true test is whether I can bear to wear it all day. I normally wear boycut briefs on a daily basis. A thong is the opposite of that. I've been wearing my trial thongs on occasion over the past week and am experiencing mixed results. Sometimes, I like the feel of them and the lack of panty lines. Other times I feel like I have a strip of fabric up my ass. I think this feeling originates from the fact that I do have a strip of fabric up my ass. There is a chance that I might get used to it or perhaps I purchased a flawed set of thongs.

Those of you that wear them regularly: Does it get easier? Am I missing something?

Oh, and in case you're wondering about the picture. In honor of liberating my ass from the thong for today, I thought I would present you a picture of it with nothing on it at all.

Announcing the debut of "Bedroom Radio"

2005-10-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

As usual I'm 10 minutes late for the most recent fad. So, it took me awhile to realize that my love of music and my obsession with sex could combine in a hot sticky mess and spawn a podcast. It is with the trepidation and excitement of an awkward middle schooler slow dancing for the first time that I present you with Bedroom Radio - Episode One.

Featured Song: Betty Davis - "Gettin' Kicked Off, Havin' Fun" from Nasty Gal

Public Service Announcement: Boobie-thon 2005

Download Bedroom Radio #1 (128k)

exhibitionism

2005-09-29T10:12:00.000-05:00

This is a picture of my breasts. I'm not really sure what else to say other than that.

EDIT: The boobies have been edited for a good cause! I have submitted some pictures (not this one) to the Boobie-thon. So, if you want to see them, make a donation to help support breast cancer research!

vehicular blow job(s)

2005-09-28T01:34:00.000-05:00

Let me begin by saying that my car looks nothing like the one in the photo. Although, it is about that size and probably only a few years older (seriously, check out when Chevy stopped making the Celebrity).

When I went to bed last night I just had one car sex story to tell. Then my dreams provided fodder for another one. I'll tell them in chronological order, though.

I never owned a car until this summer when I got a job that made it impossible not to have one. So, I ended up with a 20-year-old car that had 40,000 miles on it. My car is basically a tank that runs on a 4-cylinder. It provides a good scapegoat if I ever get pulled for speeding as it tops out around 80 mph and that is going downhill with a tail wind. The interesting feature of this car, though, is a bench seat across the front and the fact that it is cavernous inside. I realized the potential sexual fruitfulness of this set-up right off the bat but had never acted on it until this Sunday.

My boyfriend and I had gone to see a movie and were driving back to his house. He had been absent-mindedly playing with my hair and caressing my neck during the car ride. Something about the tenderness of it made me insanely turned on so I resolved in my mind to finally make use of the roominess of my vehicle. I pulled into an empty parking lot and turned off the lights and engine. I just left the music playing. I then (less than gracefully) removed my purse and other belongings that had been sitting between us on the bench seat. He had a somewhat perplexed look on his face but I think he figured things out pretty quickly when I slid over next to him on the seat. We started making out which was exciting but I realized that if I was going to get a real thrill out of this, it had to go farther.

That was when I decided to straddle his hips while we kissed. I was finally starting to get the feel for what I had missed out on during high school. This maneuver certainly pushed his buttons as well since I could feel his growing erection pressing against me. He was sliding his hands up my shirt and grabbing my ass under my skirt while we kissed. Every time a car passed, I would freeze and instinctively duck a bit so that my head was resting on his shoulder. It was both terrifying and sexy. In between kisses and hickeys he was whispering in my ear about what a bad girl I was and how he was going to have to spank me when we got home.

The feel of his cock pushing into me through his jeans was getting to be a bit more than I could stand. So, I got out of his lap and took to unfastening his jeans. When that unbearably time-consuming task was finally accomplished I got right to work. The usual protocol would be that I would continue kissing him while I stroked his shaft and teased him for awhile. In this case, though, I wasted no time. I got on my hands and knees across the bench seat and took his whole length in my mouth immediately. I have always relished the sound that he makes when I first put my mouth on him and this time was no exception. As I worked on his cock, he reached behind me and pulled my skirt up over my ass and began spanking me. I was praying that he would slip his fingers into my panties but he never got the chance. Afer a few minutes of head he became convinced that he saw a person walking by and that we really should leave. Truthfully, I was pretty ready to get home and do things properly so I had no trouble obliging. But, I did squeeze his cock through his jeans for the rest of the drive home.

I still need to retrieve all of the spilled items from my purse that fell under the seat.

But thats not all, I promised you two car sex stories and you will get them. The second is a dream I woke up remembering this morning. It is only notable in the sense that I *rarely* have sex dreams. They have been appearing slightly more often lately but they are still few and far between. They also tend to be about people I know in real life. Imagine my surprise when I dreamed of giving a blowjob to another blogger that I spent some time exchanging passive-aggresive emails with yesterday! The most interesting thing about this dream is that I have no idea what this individual looks like so my mind just created an image to stand in. I might be strange, but my ideal sex partner in fantasies is rarely someone with an aesthetically perfect body. They make me nervous on principle. So, in my imagination this individual is slightly chubby, with a benevolent face, and nice hands. In other words, exactly who I would like to fuck around with.

The events of the dream slightly mirrored the events of my actual car escapades except amped up in the implausible ways that dreams often are. For instance, my roomy car became impossibly large, allowing for positions that would require something more along the lines of a flatbead truck in reality. Additionally, I was completely naked and the events were unfolding in broad daylight right in front of my house (which is on a relatively busy street and in front of a stop sign). As is often the case with dreams I only remember flashes of this one. Looking up at him as I teased the tip of his cock with my tongue, listening to him murmur encouraging words between gasps, feeling his hand caress my ass.

Fuzzy memory or not, I still woke up completely turned on. . .

'cause I keep putting on lip gloss and you won't kiss me

2005-09-27T16:47:00.000-05:00

My boyfriend recently told me that I am allowed to make out with whoever I want. I took this news with a great deal of excitement and an eye towards the future. I would parlay my newly found sexual confidence into a very sophisticated and urban form of make-out sluttery. I would lock lips with anyone that I thought was attractive and enjoy the sheer simplicity of just kissing. This would all expand my horizons greatly and take me on my path to becoming an ethical slut.

My boyfriend said this to me almost two months ago.

I haven't kissed anyone.

Now, this isn't for a lack of desire. I have had my smooch radar honed on several desirable kissees. I'm doing all the right things, too. Like spending time in the presence of the people I want to kiss and brushing my teeth. Somehow this doesn't seem to be enough. I think I am missing a piece of the puzzle.

In reality, I know exactly what the problem is. Everyone I know, knows I have a boyfriend. And everyone I know is basically anyone worth kissing in this ridiculously small city. I really can't wait for someone else to kiss me, it isn't going to happen. Unfortunately, I have a ridiculously high fear of rejection.

So, fair reader, how do you get up the nerve to lock lips? Please don't say alcohol. . .

Bloggasm

2005-09-26T20:13:00.000-05:00

Sam Sugar rarely stops thinking of good ideas. Here is another one that he had. Nominate your best entry this week by emailing him and check out the links below for some great posts.

Simultaneously bloggasming:
A Silly Idea (sugarbank.com)
There is no better time to be a library student and obsessed with sex. . . (lumpesse.com)
Porn ads in Adsense (mymoneyblog.net)
Random Fetish Attack (talkingdirty.blogspot.com)
Vibeke (pspporn.com)
Podnography #8 - Adonna Vichet, Martha's Girls and Anal Sex (podnography.com)

(Bloggers, participate by emailing your best recent post to sam.sugar@gmail.com. The bloggasm is posted to SugarBank on Saturday, included bloggers commit to posting the bloggasm links within seven days.)

Getting what you paid for

2005-09-22T08:35:00.000-05:00

Sam over at Sugarbank is asking some very thoughtful questions today about blogging and revenue. I started to reply in a comment and thought I might as well flesh things out more. Now the big difference between Sam and I in asking this question is that he is a businessman (therefore oriented towards finding a solution and of course revenue) whereas I am a grad student (and therefore consider this as a purely academic question, in fact I have written a paper or two on blogging.) Sam asks:

In a world where paysites are losing ground to blogs, how will people react to the rise of blogs that look beyond advertising as a source of revenue? A change in price from zero is effectively infinite, and guaranteed to be objected to. How much is a blog feed worth? $20 a month? $20 a year? Nothing at all?

The number of people reading your RSS feed is going to become a more important measure of your online audience than the number of people who see your website, but without a universal micropayment system are ads the only way to make money?

Micropayments are becoming a big question in the music industry as well (at least at the independent level.) I have label friends that have dabbled with micropayments for mp3 downloads with very little success. The primary problem seems to be streamlining the payment process to make it universal and easy.

Of course there is also still the inherent bias against charging for content that is perceived as ephemeral. In reality an online subscription to, say, Newsweek, would be much more useful than hardcopy (because of search, archives, and a million other useful features). Still, people are printing magazines and pressing CDs.

I have said for awhile that I think the future of independent music is short-run CD-R release, not download sales. As for blog content sales? It doesn't seem impossible (especially if it is adult content) but might be an uphill battle. Salon.com didn't really fare too well when it went paid, they seem to be the classic example of this problem.

Are blogs making it harder to sell intellectual property? I'm not really sure about that, I know that some of the big MP3 blogs have resorted to what is basically payola in order to generate revenue. This is an option for a blog offering other sorts of recommendations or consulting service. Of course, most people would find that to be distasteful and untrustworthy. Will people directly pay for content served up in a blog format? I might be the wrong person to ask as I tend to pay for online products and content that I find compelling but others are still very biased against the delivery method. While blogging is so old in terms of net years it is still a relatively new phenomenon in the scheme of things. I think there are things about the technology (RSS, interactivity, etc) that might make it easier to sell intellectual property (especially any sort of subscription) online.

Of course all the payment I need from Lumpesse is the joy of spouting off my unfounded opinions and inflicting them on others. I could reach the same ends at a bar but this method diminishes the hangover.

The most famous banned book of all. . .

2005-09-21T18:55:00.000-05:00

I was hesitant to write about Lolita during my Banned Book Week celebration because it certainly isn't a novel that I need to draw anyone's attention to. Nonetheless, I have chosen to reflect on this icon for two reasons. First, we are celebrating the 50th anniversary of its publication this year (click here for the history of its banning in Europe). Second, I have very fond memories of the first time that I read it.

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

When I was twelve years old I fancied myself quite the sophisticate and would often seek out books that I had heard were scandalous on my frequent trips to the public library. Certain ones, like Lady Chatterly's Lover, failed to make an impression on me at such a young age. I was too young and not a skilled enough reader to appreciate many of them. But one book stands out in my mind from this era because I did read it all the way through and felt very naughty for doing it.

I recall the day that I found Lolita on the shelves and surreptitiously took it to a remote corner in the back of the stacks. I began to peruse it, the whole time terrified that I would be caught. I'm not sure what I thought would happen to me if I read this book but I remember feeling like I was doing something very dangerous, liberated, and sexy. It is a rare novel that can carry a similar weight for me these days but I still seek out that exhilaration.

Somehow I summoned up the courage to sandwich Lolita amongst a stack of other books and check it out. My heart was racing as the circulation clerk fumbled with each volume. But, shockingly, I wasn't chastised or turned in - just sent off with the reminder that they were all due in three weeks.

I read Lolita in a few evenings, I couldn't put it down. She was just like me and the stuff of my deepest fantasy and adoration. I would argue now that there is no purer or more perfect time to read Lolita than when you are a twelve-year-old girl. To read it at this age is to miss out on the prurient voyeurism that Nabokov projects on his reader. A girl reads Lolita through Lo's eyes, not Humbert's. From this perspective, Humbert is dreadfully sexy and intriguing.

While I'm sure that most of you have read Lolita, I wonder how many have Nabokov's other works. It is often erroneously stated in literary circles that Lolita is his only work worth reading. If someone has told you this I suggest you stop being friends with them immediately and spend any time you might have spent listening to them blather about literature on the reading of Pnin. Is it as sexy as Lolita? No. But it is heart-breaking and funny and remarkable.

There is no better time to be a library student and obsessed with sex. . .

2005-09-20T08:30:00.000-05:00

. . . than Banned Books Week. So, I decided to let my worlds collide and feature a banned book every day this week. (You know, for the rest of them since I was slack on Monday). Of course, these won't be just any banned books, but those that were targeted for being obscene. I hope some of you will decide to read a sexy banned book this week and maybe even get aroused. . . in the name of freedom. I'll start with the banned book that I chose to enlighten myself with this week.

Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller

Miller has been renowned for years for being a disgusting pervert and a brilliant author. Lauded as one of the finest in the 20th century, some don't realize that his book Tropic of Cancer was banned in the US for 27 years for being obscene. First published in Paris in 1934, the ban was not lifted until 1961.

Written as an autobiographical look at his own life as an expatriate in Paris in the 1930s, the book reveals the underbelly of Miller's life, what he sees as infintite decay. Tropic of Cancer is obsessed with female sexuality and features many encounters with women which Miller tends to describe with a certain lush desperation. Miller's writing still speaks best for itself though:

Mona at the window waving goodbye. White heavy face, hair streaming wild. And now it is a heavy bedroom, breathing regularly through the gills, sap still oozing from between her legs, a warm feline odor and her hair in my mouth. My eyes are closed. We breath warmly into each other's mouth. Close together, America three thousand miles away. I never want to see it again. To have her here in bed with me, breathing on me, her hair in my mouth - I count that something of a miracle. Nothing can happen now till morning. . .

Is there any doubt now why Nerve Magazine has named their award for sexy literature after this man?

Comstock Films - Go buy some this Wednesday!

2005-09-13T13:31:00.000-05:00

I ordered some movies from Comstock Films about a week or two ago as I had been hearing wonderful things about them for a very long time. Within a few days of placing my order, I received an email letting me know that Comstock is having a great Red Cross fundraiser on Wednesday, September 14th.

Tomorrow, they will be giving double the amount of your order to the Red Cross. So, if you buy one of their great DVDs for 25 bucks, 50 goes to the Red Cross. And, you still get an amazing movie. So, what makes Comstock Films so amazing? I watched "Xana and Dax" and "Marie and Jack" over this past weekend. Initially, I was partial to Marie and Jack - It was really amazing to watch how sweet and tender they are with each other. Although, I think my preference might have something to do with viewing Marie and Jack with my boyfriend.

After a second, more objective, viewing of both films today, I think that I prefer Xana and Dax. The interview with them was incredibly sexy and really built up to the on-screen sex. I also thought that the lighting for the shoot was gorgeous. But, seriously, I'm obviously not watching for the lighting. The sex was tender but still very insistent and captivated my attention immediately. Since it followed in a logical progression instead of the frantic scene-changing of conventional porn, I felt myself really drawn into the action.

Whoever thinks that real sex can't be sexy needs to try out one of these films. Watching them helped me realize a few things. First, porn can turn me on and I can even get off while watching it! Second, I am so grateful for my relationship and that I get to have sex with someone I love. Watching these couples in their most intimate moments helped me realize how much my sex is just like that and how much I treasure it for that reason.

I implore everyone to go buy a film from Comstock tomorrow. You will enjoy it immensely and be giving to an important cause.

Auctions DELAYED but not Cancelled

2005-09-08T08:55:00.000-05:00

I recieved very little interest in my proposition of a few days ago so I have decided to delay the auctions at least a week until I get shore up adequate support from other bloggers and podcasters, add more items, and promote to a more lucrative demographic than Livejournal and the limited readership of this blog. Please get in touch with me if you want to help!

In other news, I was at the local intake center for evacuees that are now my new neighbors in this city. I met the most adorable little girl who I read with for a few hours. I am so glad that my city is putting people in hotel rooms instead of another temporary shelter. This family hadn't had any privacy in a long time or a quiet place to get some rest. I was exhausted by the end of a six hour shift of shuttling people through the Red Cross intake process, I can't even fathom how they must have felt.

Please, I implore you, if you can do anything in your community to help, get out there and do it. I know that around here they need people to "adopt" families in order to help orient them towards the community. They also need help at the food banks to sort and distribute donations.

There were 120 people that came on 1 plane to my city last night. They are the tip of the iceburg. It took at least 100 volunteers to welcome and assist them as well as massive amounts of clothing and food donations. There are 2 more flights coming into my city today. It is completely overwhelming. But, knowing that 1 new family in my city has my phone number and an offer of free babysitting makes me feel a little better.

PLEASE do whatever you can to help.

The Most Important Post I will Make

2005-09-05T08:43:00.000-05:00

A proposal

Like many of you out there, I have been feeling very helpless about the current situation in the South. Aside from mine and my boyfriend's personal contributions to hurricane relief efforts, we feel like we want to do something more. I decided that if there was anything I could do to mobilize people to donate to hurricane relief, that I would do it. In the past I have had people ask me about selling panties and other items. I was never interested in it for my own profit. But, it is something I am thrilled to do if it can help the victims of Katrina put their lives back together. So, fair blog readers, I am inviting you into my underwear drawer for a worthy cause. I will be auctioning off several items in the next few weeks and will continue restocking until interest wanes. Please read on for more information!

Here is how it will work

I will make a post on Wednesday, September 7th listing the first item up for bid. The auction will close on Friday, September 9th at noon and another item will be posted. I will keep working on a Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule until all items are spoken for or interest has dried up.

I will accept bids via email and conduct the bidding in several rounds so that all parties will get an even chance to win.

I don't want you to send me a penny. I feel uncomfortable handling money that is meant for charity so the winner of the auction will be responsible for making a charitable contribution in the amount agreed on and furnishing proof to me in the form of a receipt, an online confirmation page, an email confirmation, etc.

If the winning bidder fails to make their contribution within 2 days of winning, they will first be publicly shamed and the item will go back up for bid.

I want this to be really fun and also raise a lot of money. If there are other ladies interested in getting in on this, lets work together!

FOLLOW THIS LINK FOR MORE DETAILS INCLUDING PICTURES.

superstition

2005-09-04T19:27:00.000-05:00

So, I was reading my Nerve.com horoscope and thought it was sort of apropos.

I don't know if you were ever a fan of professional wrestling, but if you've ever seen it, you will have noticed the efficacy of having a tag-team partner or wily, rules-be-damned manager come to your aid when you've been hit by a chair. This is an important life lesson for you this week, Capricorn. You need allies. Allies who will be willing to give someone a suplex, yes, but also allies in the arena of love. It may be a friend who can talk to you up to someone you'd like to get with, or just someone who is willing to spit in their hand and shake on the common goal of explosive intercourse. Just make sure you find them, put on some spandex and get to work.

Reading this made me think about the events of yesterday evening which I spent with, who I guess is now a sexual ally. Last night my order of activities was very pleasant phone sex with someone in the entirely wrong hemisphere. After that adventure I went out to a concert with a friend that I have had since I started undergrad. We actually campaigned for Nader together back in my more idealistic days. I had a massive crush on J back then. Since that time I have witnessed him go through a really destructive relationship with one of my ex-roomates. J and I have something in common. She (the ex) was his only and the boy is my only.

On the drive home the conversation turned to sex and when he pulled up on front of my house we weren't really ready to stop talking. (No, this isn't going where you think it is going.) So, we went to a diner to grab a late-night snack and coffee. (See, I told you so.) It was a strange experience for me because I am used to talking about sex in an open and honest way. But but but, it felt very strange with J. Perhaps because I wanted to sleep with him when I was 18 or because I knew the fucked up shit his ex did to him while they were together. Or maybe it was just the *palpable sexual tension* between us.

I'm not sure I would even want to sleep with J or that my boyfriend would go for it. Nor am I at all sure that J wants to sleep with me. However, the fact that I felt a compelling desire to kiss him when he gave me a hug goodnight must mean something. Maybe it just means that I am horny and really miss my sweetie and desperately need a cuddle. I'm going with that explanation for awhile.

Livejournal vs. Blogger

2005-09-04T10:48:00.000-05:00

As you may know, this blog is a mirror of my Livejournal. I tend to post only the most pertinent things here but I also leave out the majority of the pictures that I take. Today I was indexing my pictures on my Livejournal and considering re-posting some of them here. Instead, I decided to do something a little different. I have set up a guest livejournal account that has access to viewing my journal. If you are interested in looking around at what is missing from here and don't have a Livejournal account or want to sign up for one, email me for a login.

2005-09-02T10:57:00.000-05:00

I've been playing with my new camera some more and really like results I'm getting without a flash. So, you are being treated to a picture of my rear end.

Of course it is at a peculiar angle because it is quite difficult to take a picture of your own rear end.

I went to a new bar in town last night and lamented the fact that I have been in this town too long. It is weird to walk into a place with no plan to meet people and running into at least 5 that you know. Even stranger, I think that a male friend of mine that I have known forever was hitting on me last night. It must have been because I started talking about making out with girls. Or that he was drunk.

new

2005-09-01T00:47:00.000-05:00

So, I bought a new digital camera this afternoon. It is great. After taking a bunch of random pictures I realized that I don't have Photoshop installed on my computer anymore. Damn. So, all I have to show for it is this picture of my lips.

In other news, I've figured out why I couldn't get up the nerve to be a phone sex operator. I think I enjoy it too much myself. Doing a sexual act that I genuinely adore for money seemed, well, like prostitution. And, the idea of doing it with people that I don't care for really turned my stomach. I imagined it to be a really traumatizing experience and might even turn me from enjoying it at all. I put this all together this evening in the aftermath of some lovely, mind-numbing, insanely erotic, very perfect phone sex that I had. It isn't a part of my sexuality that I am willing to sell out to the highest bidder any more than I would my actual body. Now, do not read this as a blanket condemnation of people that are professional phone operators. I do not think it equates directly with prostitution but I realized that in terms of my emotional reaction is basically comes down to that.

Did I mention? Stunningly good phone sex. Sigh. I'll post more about it once I come down from my cloud - perhaps I'll even be able to involve the other party in question.

online fulfillment

2005-08-29T21:19:00.000-05:00

So, I have been thinking of buying a new toy which brings me to the Babeland site. There seems to be a new crop of interactive sex toys around.

The High Joy Bunny is appealing in an abstract way but I wonder if it is worth the major cash. First of all, it is controlled through the serial port. What? People are still making devices for the serial port? I'm sorry but if I'm going to fuck myself with computer hardware it should at least be USB. It also requires subscribing to a paysite that controls the vibrator software over the internet. I sort of already hate cyber sex and this seems like it would only make it slightly more appealing. On the other hand it could make it much more annoying. I can see this fitting into a distance relationship between uncreative people. Or maybe it would help people who are too uninspired or lazy to turn on their own vibrator.

The Vibra Exciter seems slightly more appealing to me. First of all, it isn't ridiculously expensive (although maybe it is pretty expensive for a bullet vibrator.) Also, I'm already pre-disposed to sex on the phone versus sex on the internet. Still, this device would be entirely impractical for me. My cell phone is my primary phone number, I don't need clit stim everytime my grandmother or bank calls. It also begs the question of my own competency. I'm pretty sure that if someone I'm on the phone with makes me want to get off, I can damn well work out switching on a vibrator without remote assistance. So, it seems pointless when used in small doses and impractical to use all day.

After getting annoyed by the gimmicks at Babeland I decided to believe all of the hype and buy some DVDs from Comstock films. I've been meaning to for awhile and I figure that something to turn me on is better than another vibrator. I'm pretty set in that department anyway.

I figure if Xana and Dax and Marie and Jack are as hot as everyone says then I will pre-order some of the other ones they are putting out. Perhaps I won't have to get off to unassuming British podcasters and bloggers anymore if I have something else that turns me on. Well, I probably still will but I might not talk about it as much. Hmm, who am I kidding?

100 Things

2005-08-23T22:54:00.000-05:00

It seems like everyone has one of these except me!

1. I am a woman.
2. Who rarely wears makeup.
3. But has more than a passing interest in buying shoes.
4. Although, handbags have never done much for me.
5. I am a music snob.
6. This is due to 5 years in radio.
7. But I know my boyfriend thinks he knows more about music than I do.
8. He probably does.
9. I lost my virginity just over 3 years ago.
10. I am 23 now.
11. You do the math - subtraction is addition's tricky friend.
12. We planned it in a very responsible manner.
13. Before losing my virginity I had kissed 2 girls.
14. And 2 boys.
15. One of those boys probably doesn't count because it was during Spin the Bottle when I was 13.
16. It turns out that I am very orgasmic.
17. I feel really bad for my friends that can't get off during sex.
18. Sometimes I wonder if they aren't trying hard enough.
19. Or perhaps their boyfriends are just lousy in bed.
20. If you haven't caught on yet, my boyfriend is excellent in bed.
21. I am Jewish.
22. That doesn't have much bearing on my life, but I think it turns my boyfriend on.
23. And it means I call my grandmother "Bubbe". She still hopes I'll find a nice Jewish boy.
24. Okay, I officially feel creepy talking about my family on a sex blog.
25. I have a major thing for British accents.
26. They are an instant turn on. This is dreadfully cliche.
27. But it means that if you are British there is a strong chance I want to have phone sex with you.
28. I also have a thing for the neurotic type. This seems to cross over with the British thing. As well as the Woody Allen thing.
29. I wrote a really bad poem about a neurotic guy when I was 17.
30. I still haven't stopped trying to hook up with that same guy.
31. I know fully well that it would be terrible sex, too.
32. I come up with ideas for projects much faster than I can produce them.
33. I never owned any proper lingerie before a few years ago.
34. Now I have an extensive underwear collection.
35. My boyfriend calls them funderwear.
36. I think I have a nice ass.
37. Folks seem to agree, especially the bums downtown.
38. I really enjoy having my butt rubbed, it is soothing and relaxing.
39. I have two cats. They have pretentious names based on literature.
40. I am pretentious.
41. This means that I can't get turned on by stupid people.
42. Or people that use netspeak.
43. Things I am pretentious about include music, coffee, martinis, and film.
44. Things I am not pretentious about include wine and books.
45. Although I still bristle at the idea of best sellers, I end up reading chick lit when I am bored.
46. It is the literary equivilent of pop rocks.
47. Lately, I've been reading anything that Nerve.com recommends. I find it is a good way to read something sort of pervy without resorting to romance novels.
48. A cheap romance novel was probably the first thing I ever masturbated to.
49. I wonder if it would still work?
50. I go to graduate school.
51. It doesn't seem to be as hard as everyone says it is. I'm probably just not working hard enough.
52. I like being tied up.
53. And being told what to do.
54. I guess that makes me a submissive.
55. I wish I had a larger bed.
56. Dirty talk gets me really hot. I don't get enough of it.
57. You wouldn't know any of this by looking at me.
58. Apparently, my default facial expression isn't very kind or welcoming.
59. I have pedestrian rage, so when I walk down the street I tend to scowl.
60. I do have a lovely smile, though. I've been complimented on my dimples.
61. I almost had a threesome once but I chickened out.
62. I really want to try again sometime with the right people.
63. I shock my friends and even casual acquaintances by extolling the virtues of anal sex.
64. I really am that passionate about it!
65. In my opinion, it helps to have a partner that is willing to receive as well as give.
66. Also, lots of lube! Put some on, when you have enough, add more!
67. I think I would make a good advice columnist.
68. I have been reading Savage Love since I was 15.
69. I just got contacts recently.
70. And now everyone is noticing that I have pretty eyes. It is a nice ego boost.
71. I mentioned to a few friends that I am tracking when men check out my chest. Now my friends are pointing it out to me as well.
72. For being so interested in music, I don't listen to it often enough while having sex.
73. Although, I did trick my boyfriend into making out to Boyz II Men once. He wasn't pleased.
74. By way of revenge, he gave me head while Bauhaus was playing.
75. I pretended to be mad but I enjoyed the head way too much to care.
76. I am very perceptive of smell.
77. So, I often use different shower gels to remind me of people and experiences.
78. Speaking of, showering together is over-rated. It seems like someone is always standing outsite of the water getting cold.
79. But, I have had my share of good experiences with it. They mostly involve blowjobs.
80. I once met a guy that said he would give up sex forever if he could be guaranteed to have someone to spoon with.
81. I kind of understand what he means - but I don't think I could give up sex.
82. I have attempted to buy sexual favors with Monopoly money.
83. It almost worked.
84. But, no dice. I still haven't gotten to watch two men together.
85. This is a pretty big fantasy of mine. Unfortunately, gay men, by definition, aren't interested in helping me get off. Even if it is just watching.
86. I have also never given oral sex to another woman.
87. I think that lesbians are leary of me because I seem like a silly bi-curious girl.
88. I guess I am. Nonetheless, they shouldn't be so picky about free oral sex.
89. I don't understand cyber sex.
90. Don't try to explain it, you won't change my mind.
91. I have a lot of trouble finding good porn. I guess I need to actually pay for it.
92. I once shaved my pussy completely.
93. It got very angry with me. So now I just keep things trimmed and shave the most pertinent parts.
94. Although I will admit that I get lazy about it since I am in a long distance relationship.
95. I rarely drink but when I do I get too randy for my own good.
96. I own several sex toys.
97. I have one small tatoo. I don't regret it but it also doesn't mean much to me anymore.
98. I voted for Kerry.
99. I read about 20 sex blogs every day. And develop crushes on the writers.
100. I secretly wish that some of them had crushes on me.

Photograph

2005-08-16T09:19:00.000-05:00

I've posted very few pictures here and decided to pick one out to share. I remember this day quite clearly. It was over a year ago, I hadn't seen my boyfriend in a month and he came to visit finally. We had discussed taking pictures in the past and finally got up the nerve at this moment. I bought this ensemble especially for the day. As I recall, we only ended up taking 2 or 3 pictures before other matters became more urgent.

Breasts

2005-08-13T23:00:00.000-05:00

So, I noticed a few months ago that I have never caught a man checking me out. For most of my life I had chalked this up to the fact that I didn't think I was very attractive. But, logic dictates that if I have a boyfriend who finds me attractive, there must be other men as well. It took me awhile to put this all together. So, I asked my boyfriend about it and he said that guys most certainly must check me out and it is just off my radar. So, lately I have been trying to be more conscious of it because I am curious to see if it happens or not. I have 2 recent stories along those lines.

The first is not very interesting, one of my high school students was clearly staring at my breasts while he was answering a question in class a few weeks ago - vaguely amusing and funny.

This evening, though, I embarrased myself. I was on campus doing promotion for the college radio station that I work at while all of the new freshman were milling around, waiting to go to a pep rally. Me and some other DJs were playing music, handing out free stuff, and generally fooling around. I had a small station sticker on my shirt. The shirt is a tank-top with a plunging v-neckline. It is flattering on me and doesn't exactly make short shrift of my boobs. Well, I was walking around the crowd of 18-year-olds fresh on campus asking people what their favorite radio station is. Most either said I don't know or my station's call letters. A few glanced at the sticker before they said the name. One particular young man looked at me, looked at the sticker, looked back up at me and then stared long and hard at the sticker before saying the call letters. He never stopped looking at that sticker. It suddenly occured to me that I had been walking around for a half hour encouraging young men to look at my breasts. How embarassing! I walked back over to the DJ booth in shame while my co-workers (all gentlemen) encouraged me to keep working my assets for the station.

Has it been this long?

2005-08-12T19:07:00.000-05:00

No, I haven't fallen of the face of the earth! However, I have just come out the other side of a month with spotty internet access and oodles of work to do. Now that I am done with my summer job and starting school soon I'll be back into diversions such as this.

Recently, I've been listening to a lot of sex-oriented podcasts, the best I've found so far have been by British men. I know, my terrible obsession is taking up too much space here! Anyhow the podcasts are great but I wouldn't dream of starting one myself as I already have a weekly non-smutty radio show to run (on a real radio station no less!) that takes up enough of my time. Anyone have any recommendations for sexy podcasts for me to partake of?

eureka!

2005-07-04T08:44:00.000-05:00

For the past several weeks I've been searching around for a way to fulfill my obsession with British accents. It turns out that the answer was right under my nose the whole time. British podcasts! I'm currently listening to a guy babble about his opinion on iTunes. If he were from New Jersey, I could care less. But, I'm not so concerned with what he is talking about, now am I?

I'm sure that all of my British readers will be horribly offended by the exploitativeness of all of this. It does make me feel like a bit of a perv to get all wiggly inside just over an accent. Rest assured that I have friends from the UK and I appreciate them for more than their accents. But, I must admit the accent provides a bit of allure.

Oh, this is lovely!

Horny pills

2005-06-18T19:49:00.000-05:00

So, like everyone else on the planet, I get some pretty silly spam. Today one of the subject lines was "Horny Pills - 75% OFF!" This got me thinking, do I need to slip my boyfriend a horny pill? We spent a nice few days together recently. We did lots of cute things like watch documentaries, go to the zoo, and fall asleep while cuddling. If this was a "being fantastically in love" blog then I would be set. End of story. But, love is boring, sex sells and I'm ready to start buying. Despite my accelerated libido and the arduous effort I put into shaving my legs (and other important body parts) I was denied any form of hanky panky. We didn't even make out!

Now, I'm not complaining, I'm just, well, complaining. Best boyfriend ever + no sex = a little bit depressing. The turtles at the zoo are getting more action than me (at least we think thats what they were doing.)

Meanwhile, my abilities to procure phone sex seem to have dried up as well. Am I losing my edge? Does my breath smell? I spent last night with my ridiculous new vibrator and it looks like I will be giving a repeat performance along those lines.

too hot to fuck

2005-06-12T19:33:00.000-05:00

You might be wondering why posting has been so sporadic the past month or so. Well, first I was really busy and exhausted and not having much sex nor really wanting it. My libido tanked. Then, I started my new job. Still, not much libido. I have seen my boyfriend nearly every day for the past week and a half and we only had sex 2 or 3 times (is it bad that neither of us remember for sure?)

The sex is quite good but, to be completely honest, it is too god damn hot to fuck. In my flat, I have window units. They cool the place pretty well but are noisy and cumbersome so they don't always do the trick. At his house, something is wrong with the AC and his bedroom (just his!) is about 20 degrees hotter than the rest of the house. All he has in there are some fans to move the air around a bit. These conditions are simply not conducive to sex between two chubby people. Things get sweaty in a sticky, uncomfortable way; we fatigue easily; and there isn't much sex drive in the first place. Funny thing is that we first met in August (we are coming on our third anniversary) and I recall fucking like bunnies 3-5 times per day. I lived in this same apartment with the same inefficient window units. All of the variables are the same so where is the sex drive now? I'm not complaining, we are both getting what we want and are satisfied and in love. Still, I wonder what is going on. My only hypothesis is that somehow our sex has gotten more efficient. Like 1 session of fooling around is so satisfying that it can stand in for 5. I think this is just wishful thinking. Spending entire days in bed was sort of fun. . .

Meanwhile, it is still damn hot yet my libido is back in full swing. I masturbated a few times today, I am about to take a shower to cool off and take care of myself a few times more. There is an outside chance I will take some pictures. It feels good to be back in the saddle, I do horny well, it imparts a sort of urgency to my day. Expect to be hearing from me more often.

all by myself

2005-06-12T19:32:00.000-05:00

Living without a roomate is a strange thing. I have lived in this flat for three years and always had a roomate, now I am alone for a few months until my boyfriend moves in. The second bedroom is completely empty and it sends echoes through the house. I am doing careless things like leaving the TV on when I'm not in the room. I don't like being lazy and am annoying myself. There are some benefits, though. It is really really hot here now and I can walk around wearing as little clothing as I would like. I can masturbate loudly if I feel like it. I can run from the shower naked if I forget my towel.

Don't get my wrong, my last roomate and I were very open. We are good friends and talk about everything. Hell, we've been naked in a Turkish bath together and shampooed eachother's hair (you can let your mind dwell on that if you'd like, your imagination will probably be much more erotic than the reality.) Still, it is nice to not worry about keeping up appearances. I feel very *at home* in a way I haven't before. Having the boyfriend here shouldn't change that too much. I'll probably cut out the inconsiderate shit like leaving messes in the kitchen and forgetting to switch off the TV. I plan to continue the walking about the place naked if I feel like it. And the loud masturbation. Especially the loud masturbation.

spanking

2005-06-06T22:10:00.000-05:00

Last night I was spanked for the first time. Wow.

We were lying in bed enjoying a nice cuddle. I was on my stomach and he was laying on his side right next to me. He began caressing my ass very nicely, running his fingers under the band of my panties. Suddenly he lifted his hand and brought it back down hard. I was pleasantly surprised and let out a small squeak. He left his hand resting on my butt, rubbing it some more and then lifted it to spank me again. This time the impact of his hand sent shivers through my body and I arched my butt into the air to meet the next impact from his hand. I was quickly losing composure here on the bed, allowing little moans to escape my lips from time to time and begging him to spank harder. Something about the pain and the vibrations created by impact of his hand on my skin was really doing the trick. Eventually he slipped a finger into my panties and began teasing and fingering me. We proceeded to have very good sex.

Here is the problem. . . The boy does not like it. He claims he just did it to humor me as I had requested a spanking earlier in the day. This is something that I can see really getting into. Meanwhile, he says that he "hopes it is just a phase." What is a girl to do?

man on man

2005-05-30T18:48:00.000-05:00

I've been reading Unfurling for awhile now and have been constantly impressed with his candor and excellent writing. Last week he made a post on losing his virginity that I just had to revisit. He explains that his first sexual experience was a homosexual one and this has not been repeated since. Like many women, I've got a bit of a *thing* for men with other men. I can't be the only girl out there that is rooting for Unfurling to bed a man again and share all of the juicy details. Until then, my imagination will just have to suffice.

This really got me thinking about my interest in gay male sex. My amazing boyfriend has been with men in the past and I have realized that I have spent insufficient time pumping him for details (read: dirty recollections.) We have been discussing group sex for awhile now and while we are both interested in having another woman in bed with us, I would really like to see him with a man. This has little to do with my desire to be with two men at once (although that would be a nice bonus.) There is something very hot about the idea of two men together without any interest in me whatsoever. I want to see how men do things differently and how my boyfriend reacts to that dynamic. How do men suck cock and fuck? How is it different from the way I do it?

Speaking of homo-erotic, there is a program on the National Geographic Channel called "Rescue Warriors" that tracks this group of soldiers training to become paratroopers. Sounds boring, huh? Did I mention that they are hot and spend most of their time in a pool and the rest of the time being sweaty? It is imminently apparent that they are going back to the barracks at night and fucking each other senseless; the training looks really difficult, what else do they have to look forward to? Also, this assumption helps me to enjoy the show a bit more. I wish I could find some pictures to share that prove my argument. You'll just have to trust me. Has anyone else seen this show?

New home

2005-05-30T18:42:00.000-05:00

After several months of operating "Lumpesse" on Livejournal I have decided to move some of the posting over here. Because of the nature of Livejournal, I have to keep things on that site restricted. While I adore the community aspect of LJ and love my plucky little group of readers, I've been yearning for a different type of engagement. I've been following several different sex blogs for the past month and realized that I was missing out on a different type of community by hiding away over at Livejournal.

This post will be followed by a sampling of my writing from that blog just to get everyone up to speed. The posts are dated for when I originally posted them on Livejournal.

I Fucked Ann Coulter In the Ass Hard

2005-04-27T18:50:00.000-05:00

Of course everyone knows that Ann Coulter is a useless twat but did you know that she has a hungry asshole? I recall a coctail party a few months ago where a rare Republican in the Geography department was espousing the gospel of Ann and accompanied it with the drunken confession that he thought she was totally hot. Everyone looked at him as if he had just admit to a sexual proclivity for 6-year-olds. Obviously there are people in the world that agree with her mindless drivel but I thought it was clear to everyone what a terrible, frigid, mutant bitch she was that no one thought of her like that. But, apparently there is even a liberal contingent that fantasizes about the neo-cunt. It seems to follow along the pattern of explosive sex between arch enemies. . .

I spit on my skeezer-pleaser and, prying her ass cheeks apart like a hot dinner roll, drove it home, into the biggest browneye I had ever seen. She gurgled contentedly. Every thrust of my babymaker was met with a wrenched squeal as I grabbed her by the hips and began really leaning into it.
‘Harder!’ she begged, ‘Harder!! Tell me what you think of Chomsky!’
‘I..think..he’s..brill..iant..but..I..don’t really agree with much of his stance on Israel, and--’
‘You’re slowing down!’ she snapped. ‘DON’T SLOW DOWN!’
I went back to punishing her asshole, giving no thought whatsoever to compassionate conservatism as her chocolate socket gnawed on my pork pipe. She was babbling now, as out of a delirious reverie.

I Fucked Ann Coulter In the Ass Hard via Fleshbot

bringing a whole new meaning to "phone sex"

2005-04-25T18:51:00.000-05:00

A new cell phone that shakes like the mobile version of a "rumble" game controller will be introduced by Samsung next week. from Wired News

Vibelet has been courting Dennis Adamo, CEO of Wicked Wireless, which develops porn-star-focused mobile content and partnered with Jenna Jameson for her moantones. Adamo has one major reservation about the wisdom of using a mobile phone to replace a garden-variety vibrator.

"I'm concerned about radiation," he said, noting that it is probably not wise to hold the RF gadgetry in a phone close to the most sensitive parts of the body for long periods of time.

Aside from the health concern, Adamo said initial forays into the field of teledildonics -- whereby electronics and virtual reality enable people to have long-distance sex -- have not been well-received by consumers.

Radiation, indeed.

A pervy English lesson

2005-04-24T18:54:00.000-05:00

I never used to be an elitist about grammar and spelling until I started this journal. I've found recently that simple mistakes send me through the roof. So, I present to you some grammar help. I made the example sentences pervy to hold your attention.

The biggest problem seems to be homonyms - these are words that sound the same but are often spelled differently and have different meanings.
there: Described a location.
Please hand me the lube, it is there on the table.
their: Possessive.
They could hardly keep their hands off of each other while they waited for the desk clerk to hand them the room key.
they're: Contraction of the words "they" and "are".
I can't stop staring at your breasts, they're so perfect.

its: Possessive. (A handy tip to remember this one is that "his" and "hers" don't have apostrophes!)
His bedroom had seen its fair share of one night stands.
it's: Contraction of the words "it" and "is".
If it's all the same to you, I'd like to be on top tonight.

your: Possessive.
I love feeling your cock inside my ass.
you're: Contraction of the words "you" and "are".
If you don't do as you're told, I will spank you.

Don't you wish you got to diagram these sorts of sentences in English class?

In our next class we will be covering "Netspeak". I'll give you the Reader's Digest version - Cut it the fuck out!

* Before I get corrected about my use of punctuation outside of quotation marks: In the US, punctuation goes inside of quotation marks regardless of logic. In the UK, Canada, and other English speaking countries it goes wherever it makes the most sense. I might live in the US but I tend to like logic. I do not, however, insert illogical instances of the letter "U" into perfectly good words like "color" or "favorite".

some proto-smutty music for your listening pleasure

2005-04-23T18:55:00.000-05:00

Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin - "Je T'aime. . .Moi Non Plus" right click and save as ;)

For years Serge Gainsbourg was the dirtiest old man you could find in France. This song was originally recorded by Brigitte Bardot in 1968 but was never released until the 1980s as it came out much too steamy. The Jane Birkin version is even sexier, though because of the delightful innocence behind the lusty sighs. It was actually banned by the BBC for being too obscene. Compared to the trash on the radio now, this seems tame but there is something so insanely sexy about it still. Enjoy! Serge est hyper-sexy. . .

flowers in bed

2005-04-22T18:57:00.000-05:00

So, I didn't have any panties to match my new camisole so I tried to improvise with some organic materials. These would be much more interesting if I wasn't the one taking the pictures. . . Oh well. I hope you enjoy. Allow me to pre-empt any crass puns about fertilizing the flower bed or any other horticultural references that are inevitable ;)

**Note: The original post included several more pictures. Around a dozen, total.

Do you know how much sexy music I have?

2005-04-12T19:02:00.000-05:00

So I have delusions in my head of becoming a sex mp3 blogger. This is a niche that hasn't been tapped yet and I want the elite across the world bumping uglies to music that is selected by me. Despite the less than stellar feedback about the idea yesterday (did I distract all of you with the naked pictures or are you really that ambivilent about music?) I am going to test things out here before I take this on the road. Right click and save (don't forget to give the file a proper name, my pic host strips them).

Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers - Astral Plane

"Tonight I'm all alone in my room. I'll go insane, if you won't sleep with me, I'll still be with you. . ."
What is sexier than a song about going out of your mind with desire? The answer: Jonathan Richman singing a song about going out of your mind with desire. The Modern Lovers are a classic, no doubt. There is a delicious bluesjazzrocksexgod aura to the track. The instrumentation is stripped down to its most rugged components which puts you front and center with Richman's growly croon. buy it from Insound

Cinerama - Lollobrigida

"You shake, I sweat, it stings. I ache, you're wet, I cling. Your sighs, your breasts, my cheek. . ."
Sometimes I think that everything David Gedge touches turns into instant sex. This song is a prime example of the phenomenon. There is a beautiful ethereal quality to the percussion and backing vocals that gives the song a wholly sensual weightlessness. This feel is very symptomatic of his work with Cinerama where he brought out all of the weird instruments he rarely used in The Wedding Present. It was pretty hard to pick a sexiest Cinerama song so if you like this one check out "Your Charms", "Au Pair", "Wow", and "Quick Before It Melts." Buy it from Tonevendor

Disclaimer: If you own the copyright to any of these tracks and do not want them displayed here, please email me at lumpesse (at) gmail.com and I will gladly remove them. I'm just trying to help!

"Honey I'm a prize and you're a catch and we're a perfect match"

2005-04-11T19:03:00.000-05:00

I am in a pissy mood and feeling very undesirable right now. But, this is not a journal for whining in. So, I am just going to post everything I can think of in the hopes that all of you anarcho-sexy-intelligentsia will say hot things to me.

First: The Audi-0h!
I have discovered the closest that I will ever get to fucking Stephen Malkmus, Morissey, or David Gedge. This vibrator actually translates audio into specific vibrations. Basically, I have decided that I am ignoring all of your answers to my vibrator poll and getting this instead. It is pricey but I will buy it as soon as I get a chance. The best part of the website is the customer comments:

"My wife doesn't complain about my band practicing in the house any more! You guys rock!"

Second: I Like Being Submissive
It is decided, I think it is really hot. The little role-plays I have been doing with a friend have gotten me so hot. Especially when he makes gruff demands of me and makes me pinch my nipples until I can't stand the pain. Wow. Last time we played he had me take these pictures. They are blurry and not that interesting but the point is that there were no re-takes. I grabbed the camera and obeyed his commands and he got the pictures that I took. Just remembering it gets me wet. Some of these qualify to me as graphic but he seemed to enjoy them so I am posting them for you. You can have a sliver of the experience.

*** There were more in the original post.

Third: Fucking to indie rock
I found the first two volumes of Red Hot and Bothered: The Indie Rock Guide to Dating comps on vinyl at my local mom and pop record store this weekend. Other than making me all old school and nostalgic in my music choices this week (see now playing), they got me thinking about sex and music. They came with zines that are pretty funny, one had an article titled "Everybody Wants to Shag to Yo La Tengo" and included a bunch of musicians and critics commenting on if it is possible to fuck to indie rock and if so to what songs. The whole article is hysterical (I'll scan it if anyone shows interest) but some of the best tidbits to me were:

Randy Bookasta: I haven't ever fucked to indie rock. The Cocteau Twins. Exclusively.
Brian Long: Oh yeah, especially old indie rock like Opal. Beat Happening, too. Calvins turn women on.
an aside from the author: Guided by Voices suggests a number of interesting tangential quandaries: Can tantric boinkers so it to the entire 5CD box set (6 for you vinyl-heads)? Does Alien Lanes pose a problem for premature ejaculators? Or do all those teensy-weensy songs result in 28 consecutive orgasms? Where does Kim Deal fit in all of this?

I already know that brushland wants to get head (I think from me!) to Slowdive's Souvlaki. As for me, I love morning sex listening to The Velvet Underground and Nico and (much to my chagrin) I've had my pussy licked expertly with Bauhaus playing in the background. Anyone else want to weigh in on the best music for particular sexual acts? Also, how do you folks feel about me posting sexy songs in here from time to time? I didn't get much of a response to (smog) but that was about 150 friends ago.

Do cocks with PhDs fuck smarter

2005-04-10T19:06:00.000-05:00

I don't write fiction. But I just decided to try. I meant for this to have a more absurd and funny element to it, but for now it is just stripped down to its basic elements. This comes from my basic belief that people who do sexy things with their mind ought to do them with their bodies as well. This is a fantasy but it is about a real person. . .

Theory Erotica Part I

I hurried into Jack's office, running a few minutes late for our meeting.

"Hey, I'm here, how are you?"

"Good. So, what's up?"

"Well, you know that idea I had worked on for my thesis? I'm getting it into that journal you told me about."

He looks up from his computer with excitement. "That's great! I didn't even know you had sent it off."

"Well, I guess it is sort of a surprise."

There is a pause wherein he looks quite pleased with me. Then his face registers confusion or worry. He sombers up a bit to ask, "Ellie, are you sure about this library thing?"

"No, not really. . ." I trail off. There is no need for explanation. We both are starting to think I am capable of more.

"I mean, seriously, with a publication under your belt, you can get into any PhD program you want."

"Do you really think so? I don't know right now."

"Absolutely! This is sexy, cutting edge stuff you are doing."

I doubt this persistently. I've been so incredibly worried about my capabilities, it is hard to believe that I can succeed. Isn't that what advisors are supposed to tell you? Isn't he paid to make me think this way, in the name of perpetuating the profession? "Jack. . . I don't know." And I release a labored sigh. He cocks his head sympathetically at the worry in my eyes. "I mean, what do I do after the PhD? Will I get a job? I just don't seem cut out for it." Then, as a flippant and nervous joke I tack on, "Fat people can't do theory."

This last comment changes his expression from calm sympathy to confusion. Then a smile spreads over his face. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it just seems like doing the hot, sexy thing requires you to be. . .well, hot and sexy. No one wants to hear a chubby girl on an MLA panel about 'Baudrillard and BDSM.' It's just. . . it's just not the way things are." I look down at my feet as I realize I've said too much. Really, this isn't the crux of the problem - the source of my insecurity. All I've done is inappropriately given my advisor too much information on my body image problems. My eyes dart up to him to catch him eyeing me in a peculiar way. "I'm sorry. . . I mean, its not the point. I just. . .well you know how I worry about these things. I'll look into PhD programs, you're right about this."

"Ellie? What makes you think you aren't sexy enough to do theory?" Soon after these words leave his mouth, I notice something different. Jack, the god among men, is looking me up and down. His words catch me off guard. He has said them in such a way that any woman would know what is on his mind. I've run over this fantasy a million times and now I try to convince myself that there is no way it is coming true.

"I don't know, I mean, men never come on to me, for starters. I don't think I'm pretty. All of that." I answer back, attempting to disguise my hope and excitement.

"Well, when you were an undergrad, it was everything I could do not to try to fuck you." He makes this statement blankly. With little emotion, as if mentioning some departmental meeting or call for papers he heard about. But there was a little twinge when he got to the word "fuck" - he held it on his tongue for a moment. Almost with longing or nostalgia. I'm flummoxed, I see how this is going to go now and decide to play along.

"Then why didn't you?"

"You never showed any interest."

"Oh." I say. Then smirking, in what I think is my sexiest way, I add, "I guess I did a good job of hiding the fact that I was having dirty dreams about you 4 nights a week." I rush this statement out so that it can hit him all at once. I want to shock him the way he has shocked me.

In a world where he isn't wearing a polo shirt and this is all a cliché, he loosens his collar. But, right here and now, in this room, he leans back in his chair and expels a bit of air quickly from his lungs; he looks around the room uncomfortably. This lasts for a moment and his eyes rest back on me. Shocking him has empowered me a bit, I like the sense of control it gives me. So, although my heart is pounding out of my chest, I do my best to maintain composure and smile what I hope is a coy smile.

"Well, Jack, you must have had something in mind when you said that to me."

This has been his invitation. He softens again and the hungry look in his eyes intensifies. "You're right, I did. I think we ought to fuck."

red boots and fishnets

2005-04-08T19:08:00.000-05:00

Okay, time to get the perviness back on track after my detour into philosophy. So, last night I played with a friend and dabbled in some mild distance domination. So. Fucking. Hot. He is brilliant. These pictures are some of the "proof" that I submitted to him after following his orders. He was kind enough to allow me to post them for you. His rationale: "others should share the enjoyment...they won't have what I had." No, they won't. . . I invite him to give some commentary on the situation in the comments if he would like to.

If you didn't mind the lapse of perviness, you'll get a kick out of my "theory fetish" erotic fiction that I am working on. Stay tuned for stories wherein our heroine finds out just what a dick with an Ivy League PhD feels like.

If you're just here to look at my naughty bits, I'm getting ready to bring the French theory.

2005-04-06T19:09:00.000-05:00

"To seduce is to die as reality and reconstitute oneself as illusion. It is to be taken in by one's own illusion and move into an enchanted world." - Jean Baudrillard, Seduction

I've been thinking quite a bit about the nature of seduction from a personal standpoint. The role it plays in my life. The powers both granted and taken away. As I thought of the power exchange that is inevitable in any seductive transaction I came to realize a bit more of what Baudrillard means. There are many moments when I feel like a poseur as a seductress; as if the facade will crumble and the emperor's lack of clothes will no longer be sexy. (I apologize for the mixed metaphor, I couldn't resist.) This isn't a new phenomenon either, posting naughty pictures on the Internet has amplified the fears but they existed long before. But, there are moments when the seduction succeeds (within Baudrillard's definition) these are the times that I subordinate the fear of acting and give myself over to the illusion of being a vixen/slut/goddess/whore. Have I adopted this new ego as a simulacrum of my own seductive self? Does my original self die in these moments? If so, when do they begin and end?

"I don't miss sex, it's just the feeling of skin against skin that I want"

2005-04-05T19:09:00.000-05:00

Since I couldn't decide what to post about today I decided to revert to chance. I have a little list of things that I want to write entries on someday. So, I cut it up into little slips and put them in a box so I can select randomly. There are about 15 ideas in there and I can add more at anytime. So, give me ideas for things you might be interested in hearing about. In other news, I bought a new bra and boy short set on ebay. I thought they had lace inset from the picture but it turns out to be sequins! I haven't tried it on yet as I fear I'll look like I'm in the Roller Derby. Anyone care to see?

Today's Topic. . .
"Taking two cocks at once"

I was happy when I pulled this one out of the hat. But now that it is time to write about it, I'm not sure how to proceed. I'll just lay it out there for you. I love feeling really filled up. My boyfriend has a cock with a pretty formidable girth but, he certainly doesn't have two of them. I find that whenever he is in my ass I wish I had something in my pussy and vice versa. So, we have begun supplementing with toys so that I can be double penetrated. He seems to like it because it makes me even tighter than I already am and I like it for obvious reasons. I particularly remember the last time I was double penetrated because I had some perfectly amazing orgasms. The boy was fucking me in the ass with me on my back and him on top. I think this is an amazingly intimate position! As he began playing with my clit and breasts I asked him to put a dildo in my pussy. With his cock still in my ass, he slid our fairly large black and red dildo into me, right to the hilt. The toy is designed so it can be used in a harness so it has a circular base. The combination of the shape of the toy and the position we were in meant that each time he thrust his cock into me, he also slammed into the dildo. It has to be the closest thing to being fucked by two cocks that I have ever felt. Meanwhile the base of the dildo is stimulating my clit. I had a series of amazing orgasms from this, probably some of the best I've ever had.

Of course the title on my little slip wasn't "Taking a cock and a dildo at the same time" it was "Two cocks at once." This begs the question, does Ellie actually want to be fucked in her ass and pussy simultaneously? Well, I'm not really sure. As of now it is one of those fantasies that I'm not sure if I would want to act on. Logistically, I'm not sure how it operates in the context of regular old people that aren't porn stars. Is this sort of fucking sustainable for all three partners involved? I also wonder about arranging it in the first place. Luckily, my boyfriend is bisexual, so that helps jump the first barrier (fully straight guys seem like they can be weird about this sort of thing.) Still, seems like a complicated fantasy to orchestrate. Nonetheless, it is very nice to think about. . .

a one and a two and a. . .

2005-03-31T22:03:00.000-05:00

Sex and produce, the missing link

Nerve has an hysterical article today. Sex advice from organic farmers. How they came up with this idea isn't entirely elucidated but whoever did should get a raise. I like laughing with my smut. It includes such gems as this heart-warming piece of advice:

Where's the best place on the farm for a roll in the hay?
The big long grass in the back. Just not the hay. Hay is itchy and gets in the wrong places.

I am so glad that I have my paid subscription back. While you get to go to the site and read about organic farmers, I get to see tons of hot naked people. I'll find a way to share the wealth one of these days. But, word to the wise - you can subvert the need for a subscription when reading the back issues by entering via archive.org. Just use the WayBack Machine to view the cached versions of the website. That is your sneaky, horny research tip of the day. I remember using this trick to read the Stephen Malkmus bedroom interview, I then parlayed the experience into multiple orgasms.

New Play Things

I have decided to buy myself a new toy at the end of my detox. It is going to be elaborate, sparkly and, like Stephen Malkmus, cause multiple orgasms. The problem is, that I can't pin down what to buy! This is where you come in. There are approximately 70 people that have friended me. If I get 30 comment responses to my informal poll I promise to take pictures with the new toy that I choose. I repeat! Me. Pussy. Vibrator. Camera. Internet. Lend me a hand!

Here are the candidates:

Cosmic Vibe
Rabbit Habit
Mermaid
Honey

Vote early, vote often. Bonus points to anyone that gives me an evocative one liner to justify their choice. By evocative, I mean, really fucking dirty ;)

In closing, I would like to openly address my boyfriend in front of these assembled witnesses:
Baby, I don't know when I will see you next. But, rest assured that I have every intention to fuck your brains out as soon as possible. You are also going to get the blowjob of your life because I have been craving cock on my lips. You. Me. Fuck until morning. Soon please?

some thoughts

2005-03-29T22:02:00.000-05:00

I have been considering the idea of finding a woman to spend some quality time with. I have pretty limited experience with girls but thinking back on it, those experiences were pretty hot. I have never eaten pussy before and I really want the opportunity, it seems like it would be amazing. All of you guys out there like it so much, I have started to believe the hype. I've taken the first few steps to finding a girl in my area to fool around with. I think I am more interested in a bisexual girl than a lesbian but it doesn't really matter as long as the person can deal with just being friends with benefits. I am leaning towards wanting a bi girl because I would like someone that might be interested in joining my boyfriend and I eventually. On a fundamental level, though, I need some play. Badly.

Last night I pulled out the trusty vibrator (as I have every night for at least a week) and had a grand time. I had taken a very hot bath before bed and then used lotion on my entire body. After paying particular attention to my breasts and nipples, I had to take care of myself. So, I slid between the sheets, turned out the lights and started running my fingertips all over my pussy. My lover has this technique where he barely touches me so that I am begging him for more. I did my best to approximate that for several minutes, using just the lightest touch and not dipping my fingers between my lips. Then, I slipped one finger slowly in, I have to admit I let out a little gasp. Feeling my own wetness always turns me on. I slid the finger up and down my slit for a few minutes, occasionally resting it on my clit. Then I slid two fingers into my pussy pressing my thumb against my clit. I slowly pumped them in and out and my hips involuntarily arched up against to meet my hand. At this point I grabbed my vibrator because I had to get more stimulation. I turned it on and slowly ran it up and down my slit, occasionally dipping it into my pussy a few inches. I ran it down to rest against my anus while I fingered my clit with the other hand. When I couldn't take it anymore I worked it inside me. I fucked my pussy with the vibe until I was moaning. I was writhing all over the bed and so close to coming. I squeezed my legs together holding the vibe in place. This allowed me to put both hands on my body while keeping the vibrator in my cunt. I began squeezing my breasts with my left hand, kneeding them and pinching the nipples hard. I worked my clit with my right hand, strumming it with my fingers and pressing my palm against my pubic bone. I finally came with a shudder, letting out a sigh. I switched off the vibe and slipped it out and immediately fell into a deep sleep with my juices still running down my thighs.

Phew, writing that got me ready for repeat performance. Maybe I'll hold off until bed again to make it better.

Two Celebrities That I Would Fuck

2005-03-28T22:00:00.000-05:00

I am not the sort of girl that gets major celebrity fixation. They usually piss me off. I also don't tend to like really attractive people, I'd prefer the quirkier looking types. These are the two celebrities that I can see myself having dirty dreams about - or that I already have.

First, Woody Allen!

I don't care that he is really old now, I would still fuck him in a New York minute. This man exudes charm by being neurotic. I love how all of his films are pervy and weird. We know he likes the younger ladies so I think I have a fair shot.

Second, John Stewart!

Smart, incredibly funny, and really hot. This man can get in my pants any time he wants. It doesn't hurt that he hates Bush as much as I do.

So, what do these two fine specimens have in common? They are both funny and intelligent Jews. I tend to think that funny Jews = SEXY! Now, if we extend this analysis we realize that yours truly is funny, intelligent, and Jewish. Therefore, by a hypothetical syllogism we conclude that I am sexy.
QED

Isn't logic hot?

In other news, I was feeling mischevious this morning so I wore a short skirt to campus. I was quickly put in my place by the weather which decided to be cold and windy. Instead of listening to my mp3 player and feelin' fine I spent the walk struggling with my skirt to prevent every man, woman, and child that saw me from being flashed. This is only sexy when certain famous blondes are doing it :(

Finally, if you all aren't aware of Nerve Magazine, get aware fast. Well, unless you are at work in which case wait because it is too hot for work! I used to be a subscriber and I think I'm going to have to re-instate that. I have had a lot of very nice times looking at that mag. Here is a good free story that was just posted today:

Hightower looked back to the table and saw Stella craning her long neck so the lean cords stood out against her skin. Antoinette asked Hightower what he wanted.
"I want to fuck your friend," he whispered in her double-pierced ear.

Top 3 Sexy Things of the Day

2005-03-27T21:58:00.000-05:00

Number 1: Photos by Katherine O'Halloran
Clean Sheets is a great magazine of erotica, I thought that this picture was particularly hot. It is about seduction via photographs. It ends with a really hot light bondage scene. It gave me some ideas to use on my boyfriend the next time I see him.

"Walking back from his boss's office, he sees a new Polaroid sitting on his keyboard. He runs to grab it. It is warm and undeveloped, but she's gone. A faint scent, sweet and citrusy, lingers around his desk.

He waves the photo, wanting to speed up the developing image, not wanting to damage the photo. Slowly the shape of a head appears, details fill in until her entire face appears. Of course. The one person in the office he hasn't considered.

He pops his head into his boss's office. "Just popping up to the mailroom. Got a couple of things to sort out with them, might take a while."

Number 2: Smog "To Be of Use" off of Red Apple Falls
This song is incredibly sexy. Listen carefully to the lyrics. . .

Smog - To Be of Use (Oops, you missed it!)

Number 3: My Legs
They are even turning me on!

Why Men Prefer Tease Over Sleaze

2005-03-27T21:57:00.000-05:00

I just happened across this article while I was doing some research. It really got me thinking. Its true that there are a million and one places to get hardcore porn for free on the internet. Why are people interested in amateurs, then? Certainly us amateurs don't have the bodies of porn stars. All we can really hope for is to provide something that people are missing from hardcore porn. If you ask me that missing something is personanlity, quirkiness, and style.

The other day someone IMed me and told me that he thought my pictures were classy, that there was something more artistic to them. This is the best compliment I have received so far. Now, I'll admit that most of the artfulness came as a side effect of low lighting and an unsteady camera. But, at the same time I took about 150 pictures the other night and posted 15. I think that weeding process was important.

The moral of the story is, I have lots of traditionally "hardcore" subjects in mind for the journal. But I won't be posting anything that feels too clinical or overdone. If it doesn't turn me on, I will assume it doesn't turn you on. . .

Spring is in the air

2005-03-25T20:13:00.000-05:00

. . . and that means that I cannot get my hormones under control. While my libido is never truly diminished, this time of year it is basically out of control. Unfortunately, the boyfriend and I are both busy and are having problems finding time to get together. I haven't seen him in a few weeks and subsequently feel quite sex deprived. But, my loss is your gain! I find that thinking out my fantasies and sharing them helps a bit. Who doesn't get turned on by a little exhibitionism?

Last night, I expressed my supreme horniness to the boyfriend and since he was not in the mood, he placated me with a lovely picture of his penis. Now, this picture was shot on a webcam in the creepy blue glow of his monitor. As pictures of cocks go, it wouldn't normally be anything to write home about. But, for me, this was not just any cock. This is the cock I have been longing for since I last saw him. It is sweet and beautiful and so poweful. Seeing that picture really set me off as I thought of the good times I have had through the years with this particular penis. This penis that looks so harmless in the photograph has brought so much joy and excitement. When it is hard I find it to be the most fantastically sexy thing - there have been many times when I have felt it pressing against me in an intimate moment and I need to stop and catch my breath because feeling the hardness is so overwhelming. I love when this penis is in my mouth, it feels smooth and delicious on my tongue. I enjoy feeling every small detail of its texture as I run my tongue over it. I live for the moans and sighs that come from its owner. This penis has been used to gently and tenderly make love to me, during these times it is slow and methodical, each stroke accompanied by kisses and caresses and words of love. This penis has also been used to fuck me to beyond the edge or reason. It has made me lose track of language and the outside world and everything that exists outside of the sensation of this penis pounding into my pussy.

These are all of the things that crossed my mind last night as I gazed with amazement at this poorly taken picture of a half-erect penis in the glow of a computer monitor. Keeping this image in my head, I got into bed, turned out the lights and lowered my trusty purple vibrator to rest on my wet clit. I could have come in a minute but I knew that I should make it last. Every time I neared climax, I pulled back and took a deep breath to extend the moment longer. I sighed as if my lover was present and licked my lips wishing I had his lips to kiss, or perhaps his lovely penis to run my mouth over.

I allowed myself to come in a moment of calmness and relaxation. With a sharp intake of breath and a slight shudder, I felt the orgasm slowly run through my whole body as all of my limbs relaxed and sank into the bed. I set the vibrator down by my side and fell fast asleep just as I lay, with the image of his pretty penis still in my mind.

Introduction

2005-03-25T20:12:00.000-05:00

I am a 23 year old female in a commited relationship with a wonderful boyfriend. I have been with him for 2 and a half years and we have had some amazing sex. He has taught me everything I know at this point and I am becoming increasingly adventurous. I decided to start a sex journal because we are in a distance relationship and I though letting others in on some of the juicy details might spice things up. We have taken pictures in the past and plan to continue. In this journal you will find pictures, random tidbits, sexy stories, etc.

Also, I happen to be bisexual and am interested in finding women to talk to online. I am more interested in making friends first but, if things lead in a certain direction. . .well, you just can't fight some things! Please feel free to comment here and we can chat.

For the time being I am keeping this journal public, you will notice that I do not show my face in photographs. This is due to the nature of my career and I will probably not change this plan anytime soon.